The Road Less Traveled

American Citizen - 1 year later (updates and ramblings)

2012-01-22T21:34:00.000-05:00

Wow - working 7 days a week leaves little time for blog updates! I'm starting an office cleaning business soon and hoping to land a normal full time job - keep fingers crossed!

Ok, lets see. Miss Olivia has been home 1 year as of January 21st. We have had a VERY interesting year. To sum it up without going into TOO many details - we have come a long way, but still have far to go. We were totally prepared for HIV - we could write a book on it. It's a piece of cake. Seriously. The challenges over the past year have been the "surprises" that came with Miss Olivia. Thankfully all of the "other" medical diagnosis that were listed on her papers from UA were incorrect. We did not expect a little girl with so much uncontrolled energy that we have to try medication to SLOW her down. Some of you might not like the idea of putting a child on medications. Believe me - we do NOT like that either. This kiddo NEEDS to slow down. She is having a hard time in school because she CANNOT sit still or keep her mouth closed. My next goal in the upcoming months is to look into underlying reasons for her issues so we can get her off medications and maybe help her in other ways. For now though, for the sake of her teacher and fellow classmates - she is on medication (which we hope starts working soon!).

We have acquired more diagnosis over the past couple months too. I don't like adding more to her plate, BUT at the same time we can get services (therapy and such) to help her.

Here is a run down of the past year:

Thomas and Olivia arrived at the Manchester, NH airport a little after 10pm on January 21st (my boss and a co-worker showed up to help welcome them home - family who lived 10-20 minutes away, didn't want to welcome their new family member).

Olivia started daycare (full days) in late March - and loved it because she was with little kids. Though she did continue her "parent shopping" (she would desparately try to leave with any parent).

She started Pre-K at the local elementary school in late May for 1/2 days and they would bus her to the daycare center for the rest of the day. Her favorite part of the day was her red school bus ride.

We packed up and left New Hampshire for good at the end of June and moved to North Carolina. I still kick myself for leaving sometimes - BUT, we are slowly getting used to it here. The move didn't phase Olivia one bit - the rest of us though - well we are still trying to settle in (I would settle in if I can land a full time job!). My siblings continue to despise our decision to adopt. We don't understand the anger. It's like, ok - she has been home a year now - chill out and move on for crying out loud. A sibling is expecting twins and normally I would be sooo happy - but I am not. Why? Because my daughter is NOT welcome in her family. My siblings have said very hurtful things, and one even mentioned that if we came up to NH for Thanksgiving that they would NOT show up because they don't want their kid around Olivia. My heart aches for them. But until they welcome Olivia into their hearts - forgiveness will be on the sidelines. How can I be happy for them, when they cannot be happy for us? Why does it matter how you grow your family? Another sibling is going to have a step son. Why should he be treated any differently than Olivia? I know I can't dwell on this - but family should LOVE family. Family should support family no matter what. Just my sentiment. I love my sisters, but they have hurt my heart deeply. My baby girl deserves their love, just as much as the future twins or the future step son.

Onto the medical front:

Olivia has been officially diagnosed with ADHD by the pediatrician - though we STRONGLY feel she has FAE (fetal alcohol effects), but without PROOF that her mom drank/did drugs while pregnant - we cannot get an FAE diagnosis here in the states. She also has Apraxia of Speech (thankfully it's not severe) and Articulation issues. Sensory Processing Disorder is also a likely diagnosis. Next month we also start taking her to a therapist that has treated children that have been internationally adopted, and we suspect RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) will be yet another diagnosis. So all these "extras" have been hard to deal with over the past year. Oh and we have a sleep issues too! Almost forget to mention that. We had to buy a baby camera thing for her room (she can be VERY naughty in her room at nap/bedtime). Good thing we bought it as we soon witnessed major sleep issues! For someone that is active as her, you'd think she would sleep like a log at night. Poor kiddo would wake up an average of 3-6 times within a 3 hour time frame. One night she was WIDE awake in her bed from midnight until 4am. So next month we are also going to a sleep center for a consult. When things get tough here - I keep reminding myself of WHERE she would be right now. She would be in an older child internat and eventually out on the streets at 15. With all the above issues, how in the world would she have survived??? So when things get tough I just tell myself just how lucky she is to be here and how LUCKY we truly are to be a part of her life. She is sassy, stubborn as all get out, funny, silly, and sooooo full of spark (um, too much spark at times!). While we are all working on the "love" thing here - I think this year we will finally start to bond as a complete family. I expected to fall madly in love with her once she was home - but the above mentioned issues have really delayed this process (I think for all involved). If you have followed this blog for a while you know that I don't candy coat. I will continue to express how we all feel here, the good and the bad. I want to look at this post a year from now and go "wow! have we come a long way!" - and I know we will. Keep Olivia in your prayers as we try to help her calm down and RELAX. And keep us in your prayers as we try to figure out the best way to help little monkey. Erik could also used prayers. He has been through a lot. He might be only 7, but he is VERY perceptive. He remembers walking in on his aunts back up in NH - who were holding Olivia and a sign they made that said "BUY AMERICAN" (they were taking pictures of this). He knows how they feel about his sister. Olivia is NOT easy to live with for him - and then knowing how his own family feels about her - well, he now goes to a therapist to deal with all of this. My poor sweet little guy. I am proud to say that he is finally starting to heal....but it will take a while.

Ok, I'm done rambling. LOL. Here are some pictures.

OLIVIA - January 2011

After the initial fear of the cats was over - she was VERY interested in watching the animals eat and drink

Short hair starting to grow out and MUCH softer with real shampoo

Olivia's daycare class in NH. She is wearing the pink polka-dot jacket - standing next to the 2 year olds

Erik and Olivia

Olivia with her Pre-K class here in North Carolina (she is sitting next to the teacher).

My two beautiful kiddos. Olivia isn't wearing her pink glasses because of the glare, and the fact you can see bite marks all over the frames. They are so adorable - love them!

Just a quick update

2011-12-18T00:08:00.000-05:00

I work 7days a week so it's hard for me to get a good chunk of time to update the blog like I want to. :)

Erik is doing better in school - behavior wise that is. He continues to do minimal work. In other words, he does the bare minimum just to get something done. His teacher knows he is super smart but he just doesn't apply himself. He sees a therapist every week - just to help him deal with everything he has gone through this year.

Olivia is having some major behavior issues. Geesh if it's not one kid it's the other! Actually her behaviors are not NEW. They are just 20x worse. The bus driver had to get her removed from the bus one day and after the administrator talked to Olivia she was allowed back on. She was yelling incessantly and would not listen to the bus driver. She cannot wear her glasses on the bus anymore because she takes them off and chews them all up (her Christmas pictures have her glasses-less because you can see the bite marks on them). She is requiring 1 on 1 attention in her classroom now as she cannot be trusted to be left alone at all. Her poor teacher. :( Olivia was taken off Kaletra because her cholesterol is VERY high. She is now on Sustiva. Since she started Sustiva, her behavior has gotten so crazy. The doctor doesn't think it's a side effect. If she is still acting this way after 2 more weeks, then it's definitely not a side effect. I'm calling her pediatrician Monday to talk about this.

Both kids have seen Santa. Olivia saw one at church and wouldn't leave the poor guy alone. She saw another Santa on the same day at a mall and wouldn't go near him at all. lol. Probably wondering why Santa looked different than the other Santa. ;) I have Christmas morning all planned and hope to capture their excitement on video. I can't wait for that moment. Olivia running into the room and seeing all the wrapped gifts under the tree. This girl LOVES receiving anything. ANYTHING. I want to give a shout out to everyone that has helped us with Christmas this year. I want to especially thank Kari. You have brightened my days. You have fed us, helped clothe the kiddos AND helped us tremendously with gifts for the kids. Thank your friends for us please as well. Their kindness has seriously lifted our spirits. I'm hoping to turn the tables this coming year and be able to help others like I used to. We had to do the Angel Tree this year (you pick a kid's name off a tree at like Walmart) and I gave a teary eyed thank you to the lady when I picked up their gifts. I told her that WE always take a name off the tree to help a child. It felt awkward being on the receiving end of things. But I hope to change that. After the new year starts I'm going to start up a part time cleaning business - which hopefully will replace my gym monitoring job I currently have on week nights. And I am still searching for a full time job. So crossing fingers things will change! lol - well this turned out to be a longer update than I planned! Here are some pics!

New bloggy rule

2011-11-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

I am not going to post anything on blogger regarding finances anymore. I like keeping this blog real with what we are going through with Olivia, Erik, and just life in general - but I think there are some things that I will be keeping out of my blog updates. I don't know if someone has read one of my blog updates and assumed things or whatever - but I think I'm taking their reaction as a wake up call to keep certain things private.

I also want to say that I am determined to get us out of this situation and next year WILL be better year. :)

Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T21:58:00.000-05:00

Yay - batteries for the camera. So less talking and more pictures! I know your happy about that. ;)

1st we started off the day with sensory play - shaving cream!

And later on we took off Erik's training wheels and success! Way to go Erik!!!

Olivia's 1st Thanksgiving dinner! She held the drum stick, took a bit and decided she didn't like turkey. She only ate the corn bread and cranberry sauce. This girl used to GORGE herself on food when she 1st came home - now she doesn't really eat much.

He ate everything else 1st, and didn't have enough room for the turkey. He did have 4 helpings of sweet potato casserole though. :) Oh and he made the cranberry sauce. :)

And we topped off the night with our 1st gingerbread house. Hmmm, think I know why it was 50% off - it's stale! oh well, we had fun decorating it. :)

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving.

Help Erik raise money for Vitaliy !!

2011-11-02T21:49:00.000-04:00

We are Christmas Warriors this year for little Vitaliy. Erik picked him. He wants him to have a family as soon as possible. We will be coming up with some fundraisers to try and raise this little boys grant account. Believe me, I know finances are really really tight for many people. But just think - that what ever you can donate WILL make a difference for this little pumpkin. We know 1st hand that any amount donated truly truly helps. Vitaliy is on borrowed time. He needs a family to love him, to rescue him from being sent to a mental institution. Can you help Erik raise little Vitaliy's grant amount? If you donate $35, you will receive a great Christmas ornament with Vitaliy's picture on it for your Christmas tree. A great keepsake to remind you of the difference you made for this 1 small boy.

Please visit the link here to learn more about Vitaliy. http://reecesrainbow.org/2850/vitaliy-t-2deh9-15

Did ya miss me?

2011-10-28T19:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I blogged last. Update on the employment front. I still don't have a full time job. I do have a temp part time morning job for now though - so it's something. My 1st paycheck was a shocker though - lol - I will just say it's enough for gas for the week and a little left over to pay for some food. So I'm still spending 3-4 hours per day searching for a full time job. So 16 hours a week is at least more than what I was working before. I am trying to be positive!

Erik (my 7 year old) is doing ok. He recently started seeing a therapist. We hope that this will help his behavior at school and at home. He's a smart and loving little man - but seems to have low impulse control - which when you add in his anxiety - it results in some intense tantrums. He is also dealing with the move and of course his role as a big brother. He loves having someone "special" to talk to. :) We plan on signing him up with Cub Scouts as soon as we can gather the $100 needed to register him. I think it will be great for him to hang around with other boys his age.

Olivia is in full time Pre-K five days a week. She gets on the bus at 6:50 in the morning and gets off the bus at 3:30 in the afternoon - so needless to say she is a TIRED little girl when she gets home. So bed time is at 6:30 - and she is MORE than happy to hop in bed.

She is starting to role play - like she will pretend she is going to work to make "moe - nee" - and she will pick up her baby doll and wrap it in a blanket (that's as far she gets with it, but at least she has an idea of what to do with it). Two weeks ago she banged her head VERY hard on a desk at home and when I picked her up - she let me hold her for a good minute. Then she got stiff and wanted out of my arms. So I got 1 minute of cuddling with her. The biggest news is that she cried one day. Yup. Cried. Not a fake cry (which she should win awards for because she is very convincing). It was a real heart felt cry. I was in her class room for a teacher meeting and they were at recess. Well they come into the room and she sees me. BIG smile and a BIG hug. Then when I told her I had to leave she stuck out her bottom lip and turned away (she was crying) - two little girls patted her on her shoulder to comfort her. NINE months home and she started crying because I was leaving her. That is HUGE. Before she would hug and then run off to go have fun.

So we are seeing improvements in behavior. We are not seeing improvements academically. She has a VERY difficult time looking at an object (or even your face). If you ask her what color something is, she will divert her eyes and start throwing out names of colors. We have been working on 3 basic colors since she came home in January - and we have no progress (just yet). She recognizes and can say the letter "O" - but does not recognize any other letters or numbers. We just played a simple game with her and the color red, and a few seconds later she'd call it green or "want" (how she says "orange") - so we don't know what is up with that. The teacher is on the same page as us and takes extra time with her. She sits right next to the teacher in class and during all activities because she needs to be constantly redirected back to the task at hand - thankfully many times you just need to say her name to "bring her back." We don't expect her to recite her ABCs or count to 10 just yet - but just being able to recognize 3 colors would make this mama VERY happy! We had her IEP meeting 2 weeks ago and we (the teacher and I) really really emphasized speech therapy. She needs physical and OT - but speech is a MUST. In 9 months she has been home, the clarity of her speech has barely improved. Of course she talks a mile a minute - she always has. She talks so much during the day that when she wakes in the morning it sounds like she has laryngitis! She speaks mostly single or two word sentences - and 80% of the time you can't understand her. It's frustrating for us - but it's really really getting Miss Olivia upset when she can't get her point across.

Over all both kiddos are settling into their new home. We are getting used to it here. Friends back in NH have asked if we would move back. I'd say right now, if we could - we would. I think if I think about this next year, I will probably say we LOVE it here. :) Just a lot of adjusting and of course starting all over again financially.

Next post will have pictures. I know your bummed about no pics this time. I thought I'd just give a wordy update first. Next post will be all about Halloween with the kids. Pictures of them in their costumes to follow of course after trick or treating!

Going on hiatus for a little while....

2011-09-24T22:11:00.000-04:00

I spend most of my time these days on the computer searching for jobs. Right after Erik gets on the bus in the morning, I'm on the computer. I stay there for hours on end, searching for a job. So of course, after all that internet stuff - I just don't have time to keep up with this blog. I will update when I can. Things are so very difficult here right now. Living on a small paycheck for a family of 4 has caught up to us. I will just say that we have been feeding the dog, dog bones for his meals - we have no food left for him. Erik keeps asking for snacks - he just doesn't understand we don't have money for "extras" right now. So I listen to him complain about being hungry (he must be going through a growth spurt right now - last night he ate almost as much spaghetti as Thomas!). I'm also dealing with depression. We were doing ok back in up NH - and we moved down here - taking a risk - but hoping for a new life with more opportunities. I talked my family into moving - and now we are where we are. I can't help but feel extremely guilty over this. I cry over every stupid thing now because I'm so on edge. I got upset over something last week and a person who doesn't even know us insulted MY family and now we have to walk on egg shells. Things are so bad right now I am sooo tempted to put a CHIP IN on this blog - asking for help. lol - but that's selfish of me and many others are in the same position. But really, I never thought we'd have to seek out help before. Please keep our family in your prayers. Something has to give. I will go back to blogging soon.

Likes and Dislikes (Erik and Olivia)

2011-09-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

My polar opposites. :) Mr. Erik and Miss Olivia. I thought I'd list their likes and dislikes for this post. Just to give you a little more info on my two babies. :) I mean BIG kids (heaven forbid you call either a baby). ;)

Erik:

Likes (food): Pizza, corn on the cob, any sandwich, ice cream, fruit, veggies, desserts (he has a sweet tooth), french fries, borscht, sushi, fresh bread with butter, chinese food, spicy stuff

Dislikes (food): he will eat just about any thing - so there really isn't a food he can't stand

Olivia:

Likes (food): Hot dogs, french fries, fruit, most veggies, steak, potatoes, cheese, soup, and milk of course

Dislikes (food): Pizza, corn, most sandwiches (she doesn't like bread), most desserts, bread, chinese food, rice (makes her gag), spicy stuff

Notice that his favorite foods are her "no want" foods. lol. They definitely don't have the same taste buds!

Erik:

Favorite things: Legos, animals, reading, riding his bike
Doesn't like: Getting his face wet, he hates it! Getting dirty, he can't stand it

Olivia:

Favorite things: Tractors, dirt (she LOVES dirt/sand), water (she is part fish), playing ball, and swinging
Doesn't like: The big fake spider Erik has in his room (he was bothering her with it tonight). That's the only thing she has freaked out over actually. I thought the halloween decorations in stores would freak her out, but she LOVES the stuff.

Erik can be very patient when asked to be, Olivia on the other hand will repeat something over and over again for up to TWO hours. Olivia likes to be wild and crazy, Erik prefers to sit on a chair and read or play quietly with his Legos. So you can see why it's been a little difficult here and there with them. They are so different from each other! Keeps us busy and there is NEVER a dull moment here. :)

Hey there!

2011-09-06T21:10:00.000-04:00

Erik and I have started a new venture. Making beaded jewelry! We will be making beaded jewelry to help adopting families raise the ransom to bring home their babies. I was looking for a hobby that would help us recoup our finances a wee bit and I also wanted to help other families. So we came up with beaded jewelry. We had so much fun last year making the "Olivia" necklace - that I thought we'd try some new stuff. So please hope on over to our newly opened ETSY store. Keep in mind that we are newbies so there is nothing fancy just yet. A percentage of each sale will be going to a family currently in the adoption process. Right now we are raising money for the Burlingham family. They are adopting a sweet little boy from Eastern Europe. You will find their "button" for their adoption fund to the right of this post. Please click on the button and keep them in your prayers. We need to get sweet Andriy home. :)

http://www.etsy.com/shop/KandEbeadedjewelry?ref=seller_info

My sweet little man Erik (long post)

2011-08-29T13:49:00.000-04:00

Family members (who sadly don't talk to us anymore) have mentioned in the past that I talk mostly about Olivia, and little about Erik (on Facebook of course, they don't read our blog). They are right, but they don't understand why I express my feelings about Olivia on here. Maybe it's because Erik is a typical 7 year old - he acts like I expect him too. He is sweet, so very loving, stubborn, cranky, moody ~~(like his mom)~~, loves Legos, reading and HATES getting his face wet. So I don't blog about him an awful lot because I understand his behaviors. Olivia on the other hand, is the opposite of Erik. I call them fire and ice. :)

Last blog I mentioned that I wanted to talk about Erik's behavior lately. Over the past couple years, he has become more dramatic and emotional ~~(like his mom)~~. So I knew that bringing Olivia home would be an interesting adjustment for him. But he had been begging for a sibling for a long time, so I thought his transition would be smoother. So you take a very sensitive 6 year old and make him suddenly live with an out of control 3 1/2 year old. Yeah...what was I expecting? The first months home, Olivia drive ALL OF US NUTS - I mean you could not take your eyes off her for a second. She touched all his stuff (and ours). So we gated off his bedroom. But she'd look in his room (apparently that was intruding on his space as well). She was used to just taking what she wanted from other kids (her nick name at the orphanage was "bandit" for a reason). She will still just take from other children (she doesn't think twice about it) - but with Erik she has learned to ask for a toy. Now it's monkey see monkey do. I think it's sweet really. She wants to do EVERYTHING he does. She copies the way he smiles for pictures, she sits the way he does, if he wants to eat something she will ask for it too (even if she doesn't really like it), etc. He goes to school now, she wants to follow him. But from his point of view - she is still intruding on his space. Too close for him. He does not love on her, unless we ask him to hug her. He doesn't share with her, unless we ask him (and it's usually met with a glare). Last week he hit the boiling point.

I can't remember what started it, but he screamed at me (he NEVER screams at me). And he went in the corner and just broke down crying and saying hurtful things about Olivia (he hates her, take her back, get a refund, why don't his aunts love her (and for the record we have NEVER told him what some family members have stated about the adoption, he is just VERY perceptive), etc. If someone suddenly starts listing everything like that...they have been holding their feelings in too long. I told him that I do that too and it's NOT healthy. It just makes someone more sad. He hugged me and bawled his eyes out. Finally he managed to say, "Mom, Olivia doesn't love me. WHY doesn't she love me?" - I cried. Which concerned him, so HE stopped crying, to console ME. I cried because sometimes I wonder the same thing. Sure she hugs us, but she will also hug ANYONE. She will also occasionally try to kiss someone she doesn't even know. She will tell people that I am her mama, but it's my name. What kind of meaning does it have for her? After all, all the orphanage care takers were called mama by the kids. So I understood what he was feeling. I also told him that I feel frustrated too, and that's why I rely on him to be a big help with Olivia. I told him that I could never take a shower if it wasn't for him (he watches her so I can take a quick shower). I told him that I'd be pretty stinky if it wasn't for him. I also told him that we adopted Olivia FOR him. And we did. We didn't want him to grow up lonely. He looked at me, and was surprised that we traveled 1/2 way around the world and spent all that money just to give him a sister. He was silent as he took that in, and then he stated that he would of settled for more Legos instead. Thankfully he said that with a smile so I know he was kidding. He doesn't want to talk to a counselor. I might look into it though. He is rough with her. He was outside with her (keeping an eye on her while Thomas ran back inside for something) - I watched them interacting. She wasn't listening to him, he got mad, he shoved her. When he gets mad/frustrated, he gets physical to other kids or objects (he was sent home from school a couple times for this last year - so this behavior existed before even the adoption was in process). We don't understand it. This really sweet kid has some crazy mood swings - and it's like a different person. Of course when we get after him for being rough with her - he gets dramatic and cries. So when he asked for a guinea pig - I considered it. We have 2 cats and a dog - but he was wanting his own pet. Something to talk to (that's what he said). So we are hoping that Daisy Mae will help bring out his nurturing side. Hoping that Daisy Mae becomes his little buddy. He already calls her his baby. I wish he was affectionate towards Olivia - but maybe this will help bridge the gap. I'm considering it pet therapy. Sorry about the long post. But I consider blogging MY therapy. I can look back on the posts and see what we have improved on or over come. And of course I value everyones comments!

He sat on the stairs, so she sat next to him and kept scooting over. You can tell how uncomfortable he is. :(

The guinea pig cage he helped to build. It's 46x30. :)

And his new baby, Daisy Mae.

I think in time Olivia and Erik will become best buddies. In fact, I can totally see this happening. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. ;)

First Birthday party

2011-08-20T21:43:00.000-04:00

Today we celebrated Olivia's 4th birthday. It was a small affair but Olivia didn't mind it at all - she got attention and some new things to play with - so she was happy. Friends stopped by for a little while today and dropped off some goodies for Olivia - and a bunch of stuff was easily shared with Erik (which he really enjoyed). Thank you Jodi, Kevin and Andrew for stopping by - it topped off a great day. :)

I didn't take many pictures today only because I was busy making sure things were going as planned. :) But here are a few pictures.

Lady Bug cupcake Erik wanted and he picked out a blue turtle one for Olivia - he only took a pic of his.

Olivia picking off the blue jimmies - she is NOT a girl that likes cakes of any kind, but she did eventually eat some.

Erik with frosting on his nose. :)

Olivia standing in front of her present - a water table :)

Playing with a kitchen that was donated by two young girls to Olivia - had to stop the kids from playing with it - Erik was getting a little too bossy with it.

Olivia loves her brother. She sat down on the step and kept scooting closer to him. Notice his body posture - he wasn't too thrilled with her so close.

They really enjoyed the water table. Olivia LOVES water, so naturally the water table had to be filled 3 times. :)

So it was a good day. :)

Next post will be talking about Erik. Maybe you guys will have some suggestions on how to help him. He had a VERY tough week last week. He has been holding in his feelings for a LONG time and finally he just broke down. I will just say that things were said and at one point we were both crying.

Prayer request and happy news!

2011-08-17T22:35:00.001-04:00

Sadly, this situation is wide spread overseas. Sadly, many of these little ones will remain hidden and no one will know they exist. But we know SHE exists. Liliana. Her picture and brief bio are on the Reece's Rainbow website (where we found Olivia). The pictures you see below are NEW. Another family is visiting their new daughter in Liliana's orphanage - their own daughter pitifully thin and malnourished - the size of a 2 year old (if that) and 9 years old. Liliana though is older. 11 years old to be exact. TEN POUNDS, if that. The mom visiting her 9 year old measured Liliana's upper arm today. She said if you take a tape measure, measure out 3 inches and put it in a circle - that's what Liliana's arm measures. My cousin's wife had her baby today - brand new baby boy measuring almost 9 pounds. One day old, just 1-2 pounds lighter than Liliana the 11 year old girl. We need to keep fighting for these children and support those emotionally or financially that are in the process of adopting children overseas...all these children deserve love. Pray her family comes forward, and keep all the other children in your prayers. This is just so devastating.

Today is a better day and I hope the trend keeps up. I have two interviews lined up for Friday. One is a job working for the Carolina Panthers (a stadium job). It's only on game days, but I will take it. The other is working for the town I live in. Evening hours during the week (which means I don't have daycare expenses!) and all day on Saturdays. I hope they both hire me. It means less time at home, but when you haven't had a pay check for a while - you take what is offered. We were also FINALLY approved for Medicaid. Yes! This means we can take Olivia and Erik to the doctor when needed. Very important for Olivia's medical care - she needs blood work quarterly and specialized medications. VERY happy about this!

Olivia's birthday is today. Four years old. I told her Happy Birthday in Russian this morning to see if she'd know what I was saying. Nope. No idea. When Erik celebrated his birthday in May, she knew exactly what I said. When both kids are older we plan on taking Russian classes, and maybe someday go on a family trip back to Ukraine. This morning I played the Happy Birthday song (Russian version) and The Red Cap song (another Russian song). She definitely remembers the music to both, doesn't understand what they say anymore - but it's a familiar tune. Both kids had fun dancing around and we listened to both songs too many times! lol.

And here is the Red Cap song. It's very catchy!

I will post again Friday evening after both my interviews to let you know the verdict AND will make sure to take pictures and video on Saturday - when we have Olivia's party!

Just one of those days

2011-08-16T13:19:00.000-04:00

Happy post on the 13th, not so happy post today. I'm just in a slump right now. Ever get to the point where you just want to be alone to sort your thoughts? Or just be able to do housework by yourself? Unfortunately, being home all this time (NEVER been home this long before - I miss working!) has gotten to me. I'm depressed. We are surviving on one income - and I wouldn't even call it surviving - I have to play "what bill gets a partial payment this month and what doesn't get paid at all." I left a decent paying job with the state of New Hampshire (with state benefits by the way) in the hopes of finding a decent job down here - and getting ahead in life - I didn't feel like there was that opportunity back in NH. Thomas finally found a company to work for - and I am still looking. I can't take the kids anywhere and I think we are all getting on each others nerves. I'm sure Erik will be happy to start school next week! Olivia needs to be in school - she needs to be kept super busy - and she needs therapists to help her development along. I'm hoping I can figure out her schooling situation - tricky part is balancing daycare, school and my work schedule (when I get one). Back in NH it was set up wonderfully. Drop her off at daycare, the little bus would pick her up and take her to school, then she'd get dropped back off at daycare. I wasn't expecting this to be an easy transition - I mean we just up and left EVERYTHING behind in the hopes of starting new. Do I regret the move? NO. Was I naive in my expectations? YES.

I am also still dealing with how my siblings have treated us since April of last year (when we announced we were adopting). Bonds that I thought were somewhat strong, don't seem so strong anymore - and one sibling has literally written us off. Neither of them talks to me. I make attempts here and there to talk to one of them via text or facebook, but I don't get anything really in return. I miss them. Not only did the adoption get their feathers ruffled, but so did the whole move. They said how we can do this to THEM. Not think about how they would feel (whether the adoption or move). But have they ever thought about how their words and actions have made US feel. That maybe their behavior helped us decide to move away. That their 7 year old nephew knows how they feel about Olivia (he is VERY perceptive and always wondered why no one came with us (except 2 coworkers of mine) to welcome his baby sister home from Ukraine, or why no one came to our house to visit with her). Only grandparents and T's sister called Erik on his birthday, no cards or calls from anyone else. Turning 7 is a big deal. So when I am not being kept busy at work, I guess I have too much time to dwell on things! ugh. what a pain. lol.

Sorry for rambling, but when you have no one to talk to in person - blogging helps my exhausted brain to vent a bit....

Little Ukrainian meets wolf (say what? seriously read below) :)

2011-08-13T22:13:00.001-04:00

Today is my birthday. The hubby told me we were going on a 3 hour drive north. I wasn't too keen on this idea, traveling 3 hours with a VERY loud toddler, plus the clouds in the sky were promising rain to come. Once we arrived at the destination, I was pretty darn pleased with his present. Wolf Sanctum. A little wolf sanctuary nestled in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina. The resident wolves and wolf dogs were a welcome sight for me. Years ago I volunteered at a wolf rescue center in Lake George, Colorado. And let me tell you, once you get to know these magnificent animals - your heart is NEVER the same again. I have worked with bears, tigers, raptors (hawks, owls, etc) and did some wildlife rehab work - but wolves...well what can I say...they change you. My best friend was a very large arctic wolf named Nikita. He was my everything. I will never forget my last visit with him. I had tried starting a group howl before, but um - my howl is pathetic and they'd all look at me like I was some sort of cheesy coyote impersonator. My last day though, well my Nikita gave me the best send off. As I sat in his enclosure (haha, burying his paws in dirt) - he stood up and stood behind me. Now, for those that know wolves this usually means they are either going to rub themselves on you (scent marking) or with Nikita (he was going to snap my bra strap - haha - he was popular for that!). Instead he put his head over mine and began to howl. A chest rattling LOUD howl. This 150 pound arctic wolf was giving me what I could never do on my own - start the entire wolf center in a group howl. The dang fur ball brought me to tears! It was wonderful. So of course today, emotional little ole me - cried a little bit. The wonderful owner of Wolf Sanctum allowed me (and Olivia - Erik was hot and not interested) to go into one of the enclosures. One of the pair in this enclosure (Cheyenne) is super submissive and so easily approachable - she loves children too. You have no idea how wonderful it felt to not only be in there with her, but to have her lick my face (don't worry, wolf breath is NOTHING like doggy breath...eeew). It brought back my feelings for Nikita. After Cheyenne got off the top of her wolf house, Olivia was able to pet her. Of course I had a death grip on Olivia - only because she has A LOT of energy and that does not bode well with most animals. Olivia received a wolf kiss. She didn't like it, but it was awesome for this mama to witness. It was great watching Olivia pet this big wolf girl. Unfortunately not a lot of pictures were taken. Since I had Olivia, I could not take the pictures myself. Thomas (who was not allowed near the enclosure, most wolfers don't care for men) took a few pictures from a distance. What awesome things Olivia has experienced in her 6 months home - lucky girl!

I am going to put a CHIP IN button on this blog. The Wolf Sanctum is a very very small place that could really use some monetary gifts to help with feeding costs (they receive VERY LITTLE food donations) and of course upkeep costs. The owner pretty much does it all by herself. She does have some interns, but loses them when college starts up in the Fall. ANY amount will be much appreciated. Once we are able to trek back up there (hopefully to volunteer) we will present the owner with a monetary gift. Wouldn't that be just awesome!?!?!

**** DISCLAIMER **** Knowing wolf behavior, Olivia was in no way in danger. Just in case a reader thinks I put her in a dangerous situation. If this wolf didn't have a sweetness for kids to begin with, Olivia would not have come in there with me. This particular wolf is extremely submissive. I of course held onto Olivia so she wouldn't bother the big woofer. :)

Keeping this blog after all

2011-08-08T18:17:00.000-04:00

I was thinking about deleting this blog since I created a new one for the kids, but I realized that I'd lose so many important blog posts and it's really a great reference for people adopting and people that have adopted (that have advice!).

So this blog stays. Now I just have to try and find time to update all 3 of my blogs!

4th Birthday coming up

2011-08-03T14:14:00.000-04:00

I really really wanted to make Olivia's 1st birthday (here in the US) a great event - I am afraid I have to scale it down to maybe just a picnic. We will have a tractor cake for Olivia of course though. I just have to mind the wallet. We are still only surviving on 1 small paycheck right now...which is not a comfortable thing. I just want to make this a great day for her. We played the Russian birthday song for Erik back in May - and she knew exactly what it was. The other day I mentioned "birthday" in front of her and she got excited and said, "Mine birthday?" I know it's not the size of the party that matters, but for her 1st birthday I sure want it to be a smashing success! :)

I found her a water table for VERY reasonable price.

And this girl - who does NOT play with dolls and does not like girly things (hehe, fine with me) - LOVES tractors, trucks, rocks and dirt. So I'd love to get her a tractor ride on toy. So I'm searching craigslist so try and save some $$. I think she'd love something like this:

I just found this online (see pic below). Doesn't that look like fun! Maybe someday though. $160 for a ride on toy is oh just a wee bit out of my $40 price range right now. :)

I will post lots of pictures on her big day - and I'm sure Erik will be manning the camcorder (such a great big brother).

Erik trying to interview the cat

2011-08-02T20:37:00.000-04:00

Eating their favorite snack - Monkey Pops! (frozen chocolate covered bananas)

2011-08-02T20:16:00.001-04:00

New blog

2011-07-26T15:54:00.005-04:00

I created a blog just for the kids and hope you will all follow that blog. I might phase this one out, not sure yet. Please hop on over to the new one and check it out:

www.erikandolivia.blogspot.com

Amazing progress in the language department

2011-07-26T14:31:00.000-04:00

Before I talk about Olivia's language progress I thought I'd share some pictures first. Most of the time Erik really wants to stay away from Olivia (curious as she is, she copies EVERYTHING he does and while I think it's cute - it's a bit too much for him). So when they wanted to take a bath together I was more than happy. They had a great time too.

Jake likes keeping to himself these days. He loves his new digs, but the house is smaller than where we were so there is no place for him to hide from Olivia. Poor guy. He loves her, but he likes peace and quiet.

She was saying "potato!" instead of cheese.

Erik took this earlier of his
little sister. Good picture!

Ok here are some phrases Olivia has said within the past week:

"I dizzy!" (spinning around in circles) "oh I fall down"
"Mama, look! corsie out my win-da!" (every time we see a plane or horse while driving she shouts this)
Me: Olivia how will we wake up Erik today?" Olivia: One two fee Wake Up Erik!
Me: Stop sucking your fingers Olivia: I know dat mama! I big girl.
Me: You missed a spot (she was sweeping). Olivia: I know dat mama! Erik did it.
(looking at a baby on RR today) "Oh dat a baby. I big girl mama."
Me: Lights! Camera! Action! Olivia: Wigga! (from The Wiggles songs)
"Nap. Outside? Dig? Dirt. Wainy." (after her nap she wants to dig in the dirt then play in the sprinkler)

So yes she doesn't know colors, shapes, letters, numbers, and cannot recite any songs (or parts of them) - her language skills though are improving and that's a great start. And oh my gosh is it so much easier to communicate with her. We really can't wait for her to go to pre-school at the local daycare this year. They have the expertise and the school district will be sending therapists to help her every week.

We still have behavior issues to deal with (we call her the teenager in a 4 year old body), but considering she has only been home 6 months, I think she has learned so much and improved in quite a few areas. Very proud of our crazy monkey. :)

Miss Olivia - American Citizen - 6 months home.

2011-07-21T21:15:00.000-04:00

Picture taken in late 2009/early 2010 - before we found her on RR

Started school just 3 months after coming home.

Easter pictures with her big brother Erik. I love this picture of them.

She can see now!

Taken last weekend at my Uncle's house in SC. She wanted to sit on it so badly that they had to cut a small tree down that was covering most of it. She was very happy to sit on it.

She loved this lawn mower. Also taken at my uncle's house. Give this girl trucks, tractors, dirt and water and she is happy as a clam. Notice that her hair is long enough now to put in a pony tail.

Taken at my uncle's house. Sitting in the boat he made. I think she will love it once it's in the water and we go for a ride!

Not too often does Erik show affection towards his sister and for this pic we had to talk him into it. We took this picture on one of the many trails around here. Good way to exhaust the kids. :)

So there you have it. A picture time line of sorts. SIX months have passed by. Can you believe that? Wow. Her hair is 3 or so inches longer than it was when she landed here in the US on January 21st. She is easily at least 7 pounds heavier. She is wearing 3T shirts and 24 month or 2T bottoms. When she came home she was wearing 18 month pants and 2T tops. You could also see her ribs and she had no thighs. Now she is clearly chunkier. We still get shocked looks when we tell them that no she isn't 2, she will be 4 in August. lol. But hey, short stature runs in my family anyway. ;)

Health wise she is VERY healthy. The only concern I have is mosquito bites. Nothing related to the HIV. She had a staph infection from bug bites 2 months ago and the bites she got last night are starting to look like the ones she had before - PRAY she does not get another staph infection as we are all uninsured right now (since we moved to NC from NH). The pediatrician back in NH mentioned that since she is VERY OCD about things on her skin that she will be more prone to infections. She will pick and pick scabs over and over again. Her old mosquito bites took well over a month to heal since she wouldn't leave them alone. Her body is scared from so many picked scabs.

Developmentally, besides language acquisition, she is still so painfully behind. Teaching her is NOT the easiest task. Her lack of focus makes it so difficult. She does not recognize any colors, letters, shapes or numbers. Believe me, we have tried all the videos out there. We have a few things here like puzzles, shape sorters and some games to help but have literally made NO progress. I hope we can get her into special ed Pre-K down here like she was back in NH. She cannot sing songs. Every night since she came home we sing the ABC song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She can say, "Abc" but that's it. We are not in a race, but having her picking up things would be very nice. Repetitive words drives the 3 of us crazy. Poor Erik. Drives him batty too. An example would be her requesting to dig in the dirt today. "Dig. Dirt?" I counted. She said it 20 times within a 10 minute time span. She stopped for a couple minutes then approached me again and repeated the question over and over. She is a pro at fake crying. She obviously perfected it while at the baby house. If people were around us during her daily fits they would think something is seriously wrong. Sometimes we have to chuckle behind her back because she will get SO overly dramatic with screaming and tears and then if you ask her a question, the water works turn off and the crying abruptly stops. Sometimes she will give us her famous grin as if she knows we caught on to her (and we do).

Language is her strongest skill right now. She is still hard to understand if you don't know her way of pronouncing things. A nice guy at a resturant was talking to her. He asked how old she was and of course she just smiled, then she started rambling about a school bus and whatever and I interpreted what she was telling him and he was shocked that I made sense from what she was saying. It was so funny. When she does speak clearly, it's pretty neat. She is still not a cuddle bug by any means and hugs/kisses have to be asked for - but I soak in any physical contact she will give. Yes we still have a LONG way to go as you can tell by my above ramblings, but when you think about it - 6 months is 6 months. She has come a LONG way in other areas of development and it really is amazing when we compare to when she first arrived in the US. Next big thing for Miss Olivia - her FOURTH birthday next month! :)

Please hop on over to my other web site for this Sunday's post

2011-07-17T16:00:00.000-04:00

www.projecthomewardbound.blogspot.com

A special post about a little girl that despareately needs a family.....now. Please follow the above link and send out prayers for her.

4th of July (yeah, I'm a day late and a dollar short) lol

2011-07-07T20:45:00.000-04:00

We had a low key celebration this year. Next year will be better planned. :) Ok, not much talking - I will just post the pics from the last week. :)

Can't really see him, but Andrew (formerly from Olivia's orphanage) is on his tractor. Hi Andrew!

Can't forget to post a pic of the nekkid kitty. He feels better without all his fur!

Olivia update

2011-07-02T22:26:00.000-04:00

I was sitting here at the computer tonight checking up on everyone's blogs when I realized something. Olivia's rocking behavior has decreased - dramatically! She will still rock - but not every single chance she can get. For 5 months she would rock during most of the day. Wouldn't matter if she was indoors on carpet or in the daycare playground in the sand. Sitting up or standing (or even on the potty) - she'd be rocking. Now it's before she goes to sleep for nap or bedtime, when stressed or scared, and of course when she gets in trouble. Rocking before she goes to sleep we leave her be. She has fallen asleep this way since who knows when and it's a comfort thing - so we don't bother her. During the day though, we will tell her to stop rocking if we catch her. She will now tell me "I rockie" - and if I say "No" she moves on to something else. I think once she can slow herself down the rocking will decrease even more. This girl is ALWAYS moving. We sat at the DMV yesterday trying to get our NC driver's lisc (hehe, I failed the written by the way - retake is on Tuesday) - and I held her. She does not sit still. I tried something. I held her snugly so she couldn't move her body. And her eyes and head would start moving - plus I could feel her body try to rock. Put her in the chair next to me and she was sitting, she was standing, she was yelling to other people, swinging her legs, etc. It's exhausting just watching her, lol. Any insight into this excessive movement thing she does?

When we discipline her now she will tell you "Ok bye!" and head off to her bedroom. We stop her from "escaping" - she needs to face the music so to speak. When we tell her "NO" she will still give us that smirk - oh geez how that annoys us. lol. That's her "I'm not taking you seriously" smile. Even the daycare teachers she had knew it all too well. But she will now say she is sorry for doing something bad - not all the time though, but this is a start. I tell her "mama is talking to you, no smiling." and her face will get more serious and it looks like she is listening better.

Treating Thomas better is a work in progress. You can tell who she takes seriously. If I am not in the room they argue. I walk in the room and Miss Olivia looks at me intently, sometimes giving me that smile or a look that tells me "oh no, mama is here. I'm in trouble."

Language is expanding but oh how hard it is to understand her. Erik and I have to interpret her words for Thomas sometimes. Wondering if something is up with her hearing.

Sorry for the long update without pictures! I will do a picture blog post on Monday. Celebrating her first 4th of July!

North Carolina

2011-06-28T13:55:00.000-04:00

Greetings followers :)

We made it here on Saturday around 6:30 at night. It was a LONG drive that's for sure. Both kids did well considering the looooong drive. Thankfully we left at 12:30 in the morning so they slept for 7 hours of the drive. Olivia had her moments, but I think I did too. We are pretty stressed out right now. The moving company showed up on Friday with a small moving truck. Apparently there was a communcation issue between the movers and their boss. So they said they'd show up on Monday to pack the rest and then send everything down here. We got a call yesterday from the landlady we used to have - letting us know the movers left the big storage tent behind. A prompt call the moving company owner ended up with yelling on both ends of the conversation. The guys on Friday said they'd take it down, no problem. But yesterday when they apparently realized how many bolts and screws they would have to undo - decided that they would in NO WAY take it down. So Thomas will be headed back to NH on Thursday or Friday to get the storage tent. We are so upset. And of course they tell us yesterday they don't take personal checks. So now we have to find a place down here that will deal with our out of state checks to get a money order to pay the moving company. And the $ for the movers is higher than we were originally quoted. So upset. Prayers we can find jobs ASAP....we need to pay bills VERY soon!

I wanted to mention bonding and Olivia. A friend of hers was just brought home to the US...and is having a very hard time right now. She was attached to her baby house and the caretakers. She is scared, confused and probably some anger will show up. Poor sweet girl. Some kids though, like Olivia - have not bonded to anything. Nothing. Period. Some people might not believe me, but even now - if I left Olivia - she wouldn't bat an eye at it. As long as she is cared for - she wouldn't miss us. When Thomas took her out of the baby house back in the Ukraine - there were no tears. Nothing. But we did expect her to have issues with all her stuff not being with her due to the move. Nope. Nothing. She still refuses to go to Thomas for her needs. I usually ignore her demands now until she quiets down and asks politely. LOL - Andrew (who was adopted from Olivia's orphange) who came over the other day probably thinks we are mean people. All we did was get after Olivia and he just stood back observing. Then again, he probably remembers how she was back at the orphanage. LOL. Yup, she hasn't changed.

Last post for a little while

2011-06-20T20:10:00.000-04:00

We leave THIS Friday. Moving from Central NH down to NC. Hubby is driving straight through. But I'm stopping at a hotel in Harrisburg, PA. That's such a long drive with Olivia. Erik will be fine no matter how long the drive. I'm going to prepare myself for her usual verbal outbursts. Any of you have a child that repeats the same thing (a word or a short phrase) OVER and OVER and OVER again? I have not come across any home grown kids that did this and wondering if it's typical of an adopted child? Either that or her memory is shot. One hour in the car with Miss Olivia usually ends up with a migraine for mommy. Oy. Miss Olivia is a rocker (speaking of rocking, she has been rocking for well over an hour now in her bed). Our 1 hour drive to visit my mom gets her agitated and restless because she cannot rock. I'm going to give her Melatonin ONLY if she really can't settle down and relax. It's hard to think of things to keep her busy during the ride. I know some people will suggest a DVD player for the car - but $ is so tight right now. I will see if I can come across a used one.

Pretty soon she will be reunited with Andrew (they grew up together in the orphanage). That should be an interesting moment!

Please pray for my sanity during the road trip. And please pray for my kids. Erik knows what is going on. Olivia will have no idea where her home went. She loves her home and will not understand where we are going. Big change yet again for Miss Olivia. She is a survivor and a strong spirit - we know she will bounce back - but I just wish I could explain things to her.

What is a Unitarian Universalist??

2011-06-12T20:11:00.000-04:00

Some people have read our little into to this blog (up at the very top) and have questioned what our faith means. So no pics of the kids today, just a description of what a Unitarian Universalist believes in. :)

(did you leave the blog as soon as I said no pictures of the kids? lol. If not, please read on)

About UU

7 Principles of Unitarian Universalism

The inherent worth and dignity of every person
Justice, equity, and compassion in human relations
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large
The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.

7 UU Principles for Children

Each person is important.
Be kind in all you do.
We’re free to learn together,
And search for what is true.
All people need a voice.
Build a fair and peaceful world.
We care for Earth’s lifeboat.

The living tradition we share draws from many sources:

Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder, affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold life

Words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love

Wisdom from the world’s religions which inspires us in our ethical and spiritual life

Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to God’s love by loving our neighbors as ourselves

Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries of the mind and spirit

Spiritual teachings of Earth-centered traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature.

Grateful for the religious pluralism which enriches and ennobles our faith, we are inspired to deepen our understanding and expand our vision. As free congregations we enter into this covenant, promising to one another our mutual trust and support.

All are welcome regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, economic status or religious path.

Today was the last day at our beloved little church (we leave for North Carolina on the 24th). We will be searching for a new spiritual home down in NC. We will miss our wonderful minister. He has taught us to keep moving forward, follow your heart, live life and don't let others dictate it for you. We will miss him very much.

Rainy Saturday - Balloon Dance Party!

2011-06-11T19:16:00.000-04:00

Olivia was very intrigued by the candy bracelet and necklace.

Erik being silly. Must of been the sugar from the candy bracelet. lol

Fun with fan and balloons. At one point Erik had 5 balloons hovering over the fan.

Still munching on the candy bracelet

He had a candy bracelet too - but didn't want to wear it. :)

Jake wanted to eat her candy. lol. After I took this picture he sneezed on her. "oh! tinky doggie!"

"mama I likey candy! more candy peas!"

Being a goofball with his candy bracelet.

It was a wash out today. Rain. So I went to the store and picked up a bag of balloons, 4 leis, candy bracelets, a ball game thingy, and we had a balloon dance party.

If you guys read my face book updates you already know about Olivia's bug bites. For those of you who don't I can give you a summary. We have crazy mosquitoes here and they LOVE Olivia. She does not know how to smack the bugs so they just sit on her and have a feast on her little arms and legs. We tried giving her lessons on smacking bugs, but she hasn't caught on yet. Thursday I get a call from the elementary school nurse asking me to pick her up because she has chicken pox. I told the nurse over the phone that they are bug bites that she WILL NOT stop digging at. Nope. Come pick her up, they are chicken pox. I drive the 30 minutes to her school and ask the nurse to show me the chicken pox. I told her that they looked suspicious, but really just looked like infected bug bites (they were yellow in the middle and some were oozing). She didn't believe me. So I took Olivia straight to the doctor's office. Once the doctor came in and looked at all the bites, he also concluded that they are bug bites - infected like I thought, but with a staph infection. Her arms were also swollen from the infection and the fact that she will not stop scratching them (even though we put cream on them). While we were there we both kept telling her to stop scratching. Today is Saturday and the infection is clearly going away and her bites just look like a bunch of little red pimples.

So while I was NOT happy to have to leave work due to bug bites - if I didn't take her to the doctor the staph infection would of gotten worse (actually, after school that day I would of seen how swollen her arms were and would of taken her to the doc anyway). Unfortunately I think she will have lots of tiny little scars. The doc noted that she seems to be a little OCD about things on her skin, yup - totally. Anything on her skin she picks off...constantly. My strange little monkey.

Now for a positive post. :)

2011-06-07T08:49:00.000-04:00

The last post wasn't a happy go lucky type of post, but again, I like to be honest. Some of you have adopted and can totally relate to the ups and downs, some of you have not adopted but follow our interesting little life, some of you might be in the process of adopting and some of you (I know you are out there) might be on the fence and not sure if adoption is "right" for you. I can relate to all the above because I have been there done that - and for those on the fence, sometimes you just have to go for it - like we did. :) When I see Olivia playing outside with her big brother or when she experiences something new - it makes all the not so happy things go away. And the good totally outweigh the bad. If a few things were different here we'd do it all again. Even when Olivia is driving me more batty than I already am - I want to do this again.

I thought I'd post about Olivia's language skills. At some point I want her hearing checked out - the clarity of her speech isn't great and unless you know how she talks - can be hard to understand. But the words are there! You just need Erik or myself to interpret. hehe. Boy you should see the look on Olivia's face when Thomas doesn't understand her. lol.

When she first arrived home in late January all of her speech was "Olivia babble" - I think she could say maybe a handful of actual Russian, the rest was "Olivia babble." She created her own language. If you don't have adults talking to you all the time, you don't hear the proper words. Plus she couldn't see their mouths moving (we were told she probably only saw shadows really - her prescription is +4 in both eyes for those of you who know what that is).

Up until 3 weeks ago her English was mixed with her old language. Some days it would be mostly English sounding words, some days it would be her funky old language, and some days it would be mixed. Here are some of the things she is saying:

"Bug sleeping mama!" (there was a bug that met an untimely demise on her window in the car)
"Kot Dogs mama. Nummy kot dogs." (who the heck invented these? she LOVES those nasty things)
"Oooh da wind!" (loves having the car window down and wind blowing through her hair)
"(insert someones name) on da compootee!" (I think she is hooked on Skype now)
"go on da bus mama!" (she loves her Pre-K van and will yell this ALL morning, literally)
"yay! comb!" (home is pronounced as comb)
"oh da corsie! mama love corsie!" (she loves horses)
"outside mama? bug outside! ahhhhhh!" (The "bug" is actually a piece of dandelion fluff, she hates it)

I was putting benedryl cream on all her bug bites (really looks like chicken pox she has SO many of them) and I would say, "is this one itchy?" - she would point and say "oh dat one"

Oh Molly, when I showed her recent pictures of Lena and Ilya she got all excited and yelled "leeeena! eeeeya! - cappy (happy) - mine! (think she was meaning that they were her friends)." It was very cute.

She can now almost say her name. She pronounces it as "eee-a" (she will occasionally still call herself by the name they apparently called her in the orphanage but we don't hear it as much). Her real first name was Olivka - but they also called her by her last name. And I love you is now "ooo-you"

She loves to hear the schedule for the day. Last week to pass time in the car (since she RARELY falls asleep on long drives) - I was telling her what we were doing for the day. And we'd all take turns saying it. Now when she wants to know what we are doing she will say "mama turn" - which means tell me what is going on for the day. So today was, "wake up. eat. daycare. bus. daycare. mama. home. outside. dinner. bath. bed." - of course she wants you to repeat this over, and over and over again. lol. I enunciate each word clearly for her and she tries to copy the sounds.

She still does not know her colors or shapes - BUT can count to 7 with help. She can group things together in a pile if they look the same - which is an improvement. The daycare has noticed that when she colors it's more purposeful where as before she'd just scribble and move onto something else. Those glasses are making a big difference. As soon as you take them off her little head, her eyes cross right away - so they are definitely making her eyes work (which is a good thing!). I think we will be able to avoid eye surgery - the glasses (over time) will probably strengthen her muscles just fine.

Behavior wise she has a new thing. There are a few 1st grade girls at the daycare and when they get off the bus in the afternoon - they bicker as little girls do. You know with the folded arms, etc. Now when Olivia is not a happy little girl, she will fold her arms and give you a pouty look. Oh speaking of pouty - her fake cry now includes tears. I tell you, she might be delayed in some areas of development but she is a SMART cookie. She knows how to get attention. She has had plenty of time to hone her skills in the orphanage, now she has the PERFECT audience. Any adult around her. Yesterday I was speaking with the daycare manager and Olivia was on the top of a climbing cube thing (she likes to be up high). I hear " mama! I tuck! mama! kelp!" and she started the pouty lip and tears. I looked at her and said, climb down. I continued talking to the daycare manager (who TOTALLY gets her new behavior) and we hear her talk to herself, "ooook. hmmm. not workie" (ha! see she is smart! the little stinker!).

Oh and if you hear her talking to herself in the bedroom - it means she is doing something naughty! Good thing I figured this out. I heard her talking to herself last night and I opened up the bedroom door - there she was on top of her bureau. Soon as she saw me open the door, she jumped off and cried herself to sleep. Thank goodness her bureau isn't that tall!

Ok, I know I know your looking for pictures. I promise my next post will be all pictures. I just found the missing camera. :)

I don't like posting negative posts, lol - but I DO like being honest

2011-06-02T18:06:00.000-04:00

While adoption is probably one of the most awesome-est (yup, made up a word) things I have ever done - I do admit it has it's shares of emotional roller coaster ups and downs. Those of you that have adopted know exactly what I mean. It can be exhausting! Even when you KNOW that everything you are experiencing is "normal" - it can still be rather stressful at times. I read SO many blogs every day and I know we are not alone - but it's still hard at times. Hmmmm, maybe 'hard' isn't the word I'm looking for. Really I think over all Olivia's adjustment has been totally normal. Just some things can get me down. I don't want to bore you with my post, lol - I know cute pictures of the kids are what everyone wants to see. Sometimes though I think it helps to express how you feel, knowing that there are others out there who have been there and done that, or just have great advice. Also remember that we are brand new to adoption and the behaviors associated with it. I have read many books and know all these things are PERFECTLY normal, still doesn't make it easier. ;)

Yesterday at daycare I was waiting for her to finish up with something and another mom came into the room to pick up their kid. Olivia ran over with her arms up and kept yelling, "mama - up up! mama! mama!" - while I know that every lady she knew while at the orphanage was called mama by the kids, it's still a little heart breaking to see her run up to EVERYONE and will quickly go for the leg hug or demand to be picked up. If I'm close enough I can stop her, but usually I'm not within arms reach (and goodness she is quick!). All men she will try to run up to and calls them "papa" and all people with white hair are "grandpa." Learning "stranger danger" and learning to "check in" with us first is going to take a very long time. Granted we are not in a race, lol, but still...

Meal times with her can be hard on Thomas. She will yell for me instead of asking Thomas (who is sitting next to her). All her needs were met by females in the orphanage, we know this. But you can tell she knows perfectly well she can ask dad and he will get it for her (which he does). I have heard people say, "she is only 3 1/2 - she doesn't know any better." Seriously, if you knew Olivia - you'd know just how smart this kid is. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing. Persistence and being demanding is something she had to learn growing up in her previous life. Again, we know this is all normal - but geesh - it can get you down sometimes.

You know what is interesting Having a child that WANTS negative or positive attention. Erik went through this when he was younger (ha, and will probably do it again) but he wasn't as intense as Miss O. She will purposely do something naughty to get your reaction, and gives you "the smile" - and the teachers at daycare are seeing this now. Her new thing is playing in the toilet. The daycare teachers will check on her when she goes potty and the past couple days have noticed her playing in the toilet. They told me this today. They also said she is rubbing toys on her private area (I think she is irritated down there because she will NOT wipe unless you tell her to - so if the teachers are not watching her every move - she is not finishing up properly...which will lead to a yeast infection). I think she is itchy - why else would she suddenly start doing this? I also heard that she is crawling under the stall walls in the girl's bathroom at preschool. I think people see that she knows how to go potty and she IS almost 4 - so they don't think about it. She is almost 4, but having the freedom in the bathroom is too soon for her (well, in my opinion). Knowing how she is at home in the bathroom - I can just picture her getting into things in the girl's bathroom at preschool (especially without mama watching her).

She has an annoying fake cry that she does all the time. Now she will add tears, folding her arms and giving you the pouty lip (seriously the first time I saw the folded arms I laughed inside). She KNOWS that people will respond to her now, when before they probably didn't as much.

Oh and being possessive! Wow - she goes over board on this. But she went from having nothing to having stuff and now she wants EVERYTHING.

So you can tell she is acting like a typical toddler, with a few orphanage behaviors thrown in (and just really more intense). No surprises regarding the things we are going through, it's just hard to go through them sometimes.

Olivia enjoying water from the hose

2011-05-31T23:11:00.000-04:00

I apologize that it is sideways! I can't seem to fix it. But you can see how excited she was to run through the water. She kept yelling "Head!" (she wanted her hair wet). When Thomas got home she told him "Erik water tummy, head, leg, butt, etc" - he got the whole story from her in typical Olivia fashion.

Now that I have a phone that takes video I will try to post more of the kids! But, um - not sideways.

The "Smile" and a bit of progress

2011-05-27T23:03:00.000-04:00

A little back ground on Olivia and being naughty. lol. Any attention (positive or negative) is what this little monkey thrives on. Makes sense considering where she came from. She CRAVES attention from adults. Any kind of attention. Whack your head repeatedly on the wall or other objects, you get a response from an adult. Jump off 5 foot tall play ground equipment, you get a response from an adult. Rip up books that your daycare just purchased, try to toss your new glasses out the window, etc etc. Any time you would tell her to stop doing something she would give you "the ha-ha smile" - she gives you this sly little smile and thinks it's the funniest thing that you are telling her to stop doing something. The teachers are really getting to know this smile since she is starting to really test them now (just means she is comfortable). At home she has a one strike and your out rule. She is spoken to verbally (to stop spitting out her food for instance) and then if she does it again, the object (usually food) is taken away. She spits and it's an automatic time out. Verbal reprimands always result in her famous smile. When Erik was little we would give more warnings, but not with Miss Olivia. It's the attention she is looking for.

Last night we had some progress. Well, to me this is HUGE. She happily filled a little baggie with rocks, dirt and leaves from the property yesterday. She carried her bag of treasures around in the house and wanted it in her room. I told her in simple terms that it has to stay on her dresser and it was NOT to be opened. 30 minutes after being put to bed, Erik hears the sound of leaves being ripped. I opened the door and turned on her light to find her bed covered with the contents of the baggie and a little girl on the bed looking at me, not with her famous smile, but with a "what did I do?!" look. She immediately started crying. I got down to her level and told her that I was not mad at her. But I was not happy she didn't listen. I then asked her if rocks and dirt sleep in her bed. She shook her head no. I asked her if they belong outside and she nodded her head. I asked her to look at me and then I told her I wanted to see a happy smile, and I again told her I was not mad, but she needs to listen to me. She gave me a little smile and then threw her arms around my neck and gave me a squeeze. She was sorry. To us this is pretty big. before she went back to bed she pointed to the baggie and said, "rockie outside-ie tomorra?" Yes, we can play with the rocks outside tomorrow.

Thomas and I have noticed a drastic reduction in daily tantrums. They are becomming less and less. She will cry if she doesn't get her way - but I haven't seen her throw herself onto the floor (or ground) and scream while rocking like crazy in probably 6 days now. LOL - ok, probably just jinxed us. We just keep it simple. You don't listen, time out.

We have also noticed a reduction in her baby babble. I have mentioned this before, but Olivia never really spoke much Russian. Most of what she spoke was a language that she created. She would have a full conversation with you, but not in Russian. We rarely hear her old language now. It's still not easy to understand her all the time (due to clarity of speech). It's interesting how we have just gotten used to how she speaks and we understand her - whereas in public they have NO idea what she is saying. lol. We were at my work and she happily told people that Erik went on the bus and is at school. And that it is very bumpy on the bus. Her exact words, "Erik! Bus! Coolie (school)! Bump Bumpy!" - lol - I knew exactly what she was saying, but others had no idea. Sometimes I have to interpret her conversations for Thomas. We just get so used to how she talks. lol. It's great when she does speak clear enough for people to understand her. :)

The following is the most words strung together at one time, clear enough to understand:

She has never seen a human face on a T-Shirt so when she saw my Yanni shirt she said, "Lanni! Dance dancey" then ran to where we keep the DVDs and she couldn't find it right away and when she did she said, "Where Lanni? Oh dare you are!"

Big news !

2011-05-24T21:38:00.000-04:00

We are moving!

After much thought and lots and lots of researching, we have decided to move to Huntersville, North Carolina. The Tarkovich family (who adopted Andrew from Olivia's old baby house) have a rental we will be living in. We can't wait to meet our friends in person (finally!) and to see Andrew and Olivia reunited. We are both very nervous and excited about our newest adventure. There will be plenty of fun things for all of us to do as a family and maybe I will finally find a job in the field (a wildlife position would be super!). There is a raptor center near the rental and the director said that they are currently creating a position that might be right up my alley (we shall see). Thomas loves doing tree work and landscaping - down there it's practically year round, up here in NH - not so much. The critters will be stressed out a bit (our older kitty HATES change), and the dog will probably really drive us bonkers (he already is!).

So we begin packing and de-cluttering our stuff this weekend. The count down is on, many things to do before we leave!

Olivia's glasses

2011-05-18T21:38:00.000-04:00

Greetings from NH (hehe, soon to be NC!)

Olivia finally got her glasses yesterday. She is VERY farsighted. The would possibly explain why her eyes cross. Until we got the glasses in yesterday, I didn't realize just how strong the prescription was. I looked through them and immediately my eye balls started to ache and I can't make out anything that I am seeing through them. A teacher made the same remark after she cleaned them for Olivia today. We wonder what exactly she HAS been seeing up until yesterday. Tonight she sat on the floor and took some wooden blocks and strung them on a rope. I have NEVER seen her sit in one place, hold something close to her face and work. She strung all the blocks - getting frustrated towards the end because they do not go on easily, but she managed to do them all. I could NOT imagine what her eye sight would be in 5-10 years if she was not adopted - the eye doctor did state that her eyes would get worse over time and her intermittent crossed eyes (strasbismis) would become more fixed. Baby girl is lucky to have access to specialists here.

Of course the glasses already have a scratch. The play area at daycare is all sand. She crawls, rocks and rolls in the sand. As you can image sand is NOT friendly to glasses. So I am going to request they take off her glasses during recess.

Sitting on my bed helping with the clothes.

Stringing the blocks onto the rope. Erik did this yesterday and she copies EVERYTHING he does, so she did it today all by herself. LOL - notice the winter coat. Someone gave her the coat and she loves it, especially the furry cuffs.

It's very hard to get a good picture of her smiling without her eyes all scrunched up. So I told her not to smile, instead she made this weird face. lol.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T20:32:00.000-04:00

Hope you all had a fabulous day today. Today was also Erik's birthday so we both went to church together (the congregation sang to him) and left Thomas and Olivia home. We also went grocery shopping. Erik loves the time alone with me, and I always enjoy time alone with him. :) We came home and decided last minute to bring my mom flowers. It was raining anyway, so we thought a nice 1 hour ride to see mom was in order. :) Erik's birthday dinner request was haddock (salmon was on sale so I snagged a filet of that as well) mashed potatoes, carrots and broccoli. Dessert was oreo ice cream cake. Everyone ate it all up. I had a spoonful of each - I absolutely love veggies, but since the surgery I can only have 1 cup of food at a meal. So maybe later I will raid the fridge for more yummy taters. Olivia loved the haddock and everything else on her plate. She finished her oreo cake and asked to eat Erik's - he was full anyway so he gave it to her. I can't wait for the oreo cake to be gone - I'm not a fan of kiddos eating sugary stuff.

The best part of Mother's Day was rocking in the rocking chair holding my 7 year old and my 3 1/2 year old. It was sweet.

Notice the sleepers Miss O is wearing - yes, the heat still comes on here - this morning there was frost too!

Miss O's nick name is "Monkey" (lol, and potato) and her favorite fashion accessory is her monkey backpack. That is what she is wearing in the pic. We went to their elementary school yesterday to check out the hiking trails and play on the play ground. Unfortunately the bugs and rain put a damper on things. But we had fun before the bugs attacked.

Olivia liked the crunchy sound the leaves made, here she is playing with them.

Sitting next to a painted trillium flower

Erik and Olivia posing next to the flower. When you tell Olivia to smile, she does a cheesy smile.

Erik was the leader so you can't see him in the pic. Olivia is not the most sure footed kiddo so Thomas had to have a firm grasp on her hand. It was cute watching them all together. :)

First day of school

2011-05-05T21:13:00.001-04:00

Greetings!

Miss Olivia started pre-school on Tuesday. The teacher emailed me the next day and said that her first day of school was great. She kept getting up from the activities and had to be told to sit many times, but that's to be expected. She loves her "bus" - it's actually a van, but "bus" is MUCH easier for her to say. She only goes twice a week, so I bought her a little Dora back pack - when she sees me take it off her hook in the mudroom at home - she knows it's a school day. Yesterday she screamed and had a huge fit because we didn't grab the little back pack - but I think she will "get it" within the next couple weeks. Do you think she was excited to be going on the bus?

Week days are so much less chaotic around here. Weekends can be pretty rough. She has only so much to do here and rainy days are a pain in the butt because she can't go outside and play for hours on end. The outdoors is her MOST favorite thing. Hour long tantrums from being denied the chance to go outside are not uncommon. With Miss O - if she is kept busy busy - she is happy as a clam. If she is not kept constantly busy, her rocking starts and then the little monkey wrecks havoc in the home. So, needless to say, we try to keep that busy little mind of hers occupied. ;)

On the medical front she is healthy as a horse (well, "corsie" as she would say). Her RNA counts and CD4 numbers are great (she just had her 3 month blood work done). Her glasses will be in soon. They kinda look like swim goggles - but they are kid safe and that is what she needs. For $200 they better be kid safe! We hope these will help correct her strasbismis. She is 28 pounds and 32 inches tall. She has moved up 1 1/2 shoe sizes, her hair has grown 2 inches longer and she finally wears 3T shirts. The pants are tricky. They have to be snug or they fall down. So she still pretty much wears only leggings (for the snug fit).

Her vocabulary is expanding little by little. She is starting to say a few more 3 word sentences that I can understand. Tonight when I put her to bed she said, "Good night potato" (we call each other potato to be silly). :)

And I thought I'd post a video of Miss Olivia rocking. Some people have not seen this before, some know all about the rocking behavior. 90% of the time she is on the floor doing this, her right arm all the way behind her back and 2-3 fingers in her mouth. She will do this when she wakes up, goes to bed, frustrated, bored, sad, angry, pretty much any time actually.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It's already May?

2011-05-01T22:06:00.000-04:00

Let's see.... what does the month of May bring? Miss Olivia starts developmental pre-school this coming Tuesday. Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to leave work a little early to go pick her up at the daycare center and head on over to the school. I want her to see the inside of the school, the classroom, the bathroom, etc. I also want her to meet the teacher, and I of course want to give the teacher the low-down on some of the behaviors she might see Olivia do and go over some of the words she uses for certain things. The only thing I can't show her is the little school bus she will be riding in. Keep fingers crossed that things go fairly smoothly for her as she adjusts to yet another major step forward in her American journey.

My sweet boy Erik will be turning 7 next Sunday. Yup, on Mother's Day. So Mother's Day has an extra special meaning to me since I became a mom for the first time that day 7 years ago. I am so proud of him. He is such a great big brother. I hear the two of them bicker and fuss over things - of course I put a stop to it, but it's still amazing to see TWO kiddos here. Brother AND sister, being what they are - siblings. I just have to keep reminding Erik to watch what he says and does - little monkey watches his every move and copies every thing he does. You will see in a picture below that she is looking at him to see how he is smiling, then she does it too. There is a lot more I want to type, like the words Olivia can say now - but I'm sure your waiting for pictures, so I will blog about her progress in another blog sometime this week. :)

Look who is on a horse for the FIRST time ever

She didn't want to get off him :)

Erik preferred to just stand next to the horse

Olivia didn't like the eggs that didn't make noise, especially the hard boiled eggs - no fun (I just noticed you can see her right eye turned in)

Mr. Erik being silly. He woke up extra early to sneak around the house looking for the eggs. Cheater! He did help Olivia find eggs though. :)

Looking at Erik for his smile first

Now she smiles. :)

And last picture for this blog post. She was standing over an ant hill. Right after I took this picture she remodeled their home. She isn't a girly girl at all by the way. Give her a mud puddle, a shovel and a truck - and she is all set.

IEP and pre-school

2011-04-21T20:06:00.000-04:00

A couple weeks ago I met with the Special Education board at the elementary school. The 4 therapists each went to Olivia's daycare to evaluate her in different areas of development. Today I met with all the ladies and they discussed their findings and whether or not Olivia qualified for services. All of their findings totally made sense and I agreed with their goals for her this year. Academically she is at a 1 year old level. She doesn't know shapes yet, colors (she knows only 2), recognizing numbers or letters, and some other basic things that most 3 1/2 year olds know. We all agreed that these findings were to be expected. She seems to have a hard time remembering concepts or "getting it" when repeatedly shown something. So between daycare (which follows a curriculum catered to the ages of the children), the pre-school program and us at home - she will "get it" at some point. I definitely don't expect her to know the difference between a penny and a quarter, or recognize her name on a piece of paper. The therapists all agreed that her attention is scattered. But each commented that when they redirected her back to the task at hand - she did her best (lol, before taking off again to something else). They at first tried testing her in the classroom at daycare, but she in no way could pay attention - so off to a quiet room they went. Of course it was a new room to her, so needless to say it was full of interesting things for her to explore. All were in agreement that she is a SOCIAL bug. She actively seeks out attention (ha! that's an understatement) and she does try to do what is asked of her. Speech therapy will give her a boost in the language department. Olivia really tries to mimic some sounds and words - but what comes out of her mouth just doesn't make sense. The sound she makes isn't any where close to how the word should sound. The KEY thing that will help Olivia is that she keeps trying and mimics some words and sounds PERFECTLY. So we are getting there. She has weak core muscles and low tone - so PT will help as well. I really like all the therapists and the goals they set for her are mostly reasonable - some are a bit far fetched - but we shall see. We all have to keep in mind that she has only been here for 3 months and considering where she came from - has made some significant progress in areas. :) I think we will have a chatter box before the end of the year (and it will be words we can understand!).

So Miss Olivia starts pre-school twice a week starting on May 3rd. She will be taking a little bus from her daycare to the elementary school for 2.5 hours. There will be 1 other child in her class. I THINK it's a little boy from her daycare - which would be awesome because it's a familiar face. I'm NOT sure if I should go with her to school on the first day (taking the bus with her) - or if I should just let her be. I'm thinking of just letting her do it without me. The therapists are all going to go around the preschool and take pictures of the class room, the little bathroom, the bus, the inside of the bus, the driver, the preschool teacher, etc. They are making her a book so that when she sees these things, it's somewhat familiar to her. I think that's awesome. It will be ready tomorrow afternoon. They also want Erik to stop by every now and then to check on her. He's a familiar face and his classroom is right down the hall. I can't believe our baby is going to pre-school already. :)

Onto another subject. Tantrums. Being honest is what I do here. Some days it's easy. Some days it's not. Miss O will have a melt down over us saying "No" - oh my! Ha! What toddler (or child at ANY age) likes being told NO? Not many. But most children I know do not have tantrums as intense or prolonged as Olivia's. This girl has stamina. The other day she wanted to play outside when we got home. I told her, "no, not today. Too cold." No less than TWO minutes after coming into the house she began her fit. Sometimes it involves banging her head on the walls, stove, refrigerator or doors. Sometimes she will wipe snot all over her face and the floor. Screaming, kicking, flailing her arms - the whole 9 yards. If she is near ANYTHING, we remove it or place her in the middle of the dining room (which has only carpet in the middle of the room - nothing for her to bang on or whatever). It's the safe spot for tantrums. Sunday a 45 minute long fit was over not letting her sweep the floor. After we put her in the safe spot for tantrums, we ignore her. Her screaming is so loud that you couldn't get a word in edgewise if you tried. After the 45 minute long tantrum over the broom - I waited until I saw her calm down (she sucks her fingers and rocks when she is soothing herself) - I sat on the floor. I said, "Olivia, please come here. Mama wants to talk." - so she came over to me and I told her that I do not like it when she doesn't listen to mama. It makes mama sad. I asked her if she is sad. She said yes. I said so is mama. I told her that I like being happy and when she listens to mama, mama is VERY happy. She looked at me, whispered "cappy mama" - and threw her arms around my neck and gave me a squeeze. Clearly she was sorry. She was VERY naughty at dinner the other night. She would NOT listen to Thomas and was being pretty horrible to him. I told her no food if you don't listen. She laughed. Then I took her out of her seat and brought her to the other room. She then took me seriously. We had a little talk, then I brought her back into the kitchen to Thomas. As he was putting her back in the booster, she put her arms around him and hugged him. Again, she was sorry. So she has done this twice after tantrums. The key thing is that I now sit on the floor to get eye level with her and talk about her behavior. I know she doesn't understand 100% of what I say, but clearly she understands some of it. Tonight she tried licking markers, and wouldn't eat her soup with a spoon (she'd grab for noodles and laugh), tried drinking bath water, etc - good grief she is testing at every turn. But she did cap the night off with telling me "good night po-tay-dah" (potato). That's the nick name we call each other. hehe.

Phew - sorry for the long post. I think that means I need to update more often. :)

Bad mama - not updating regularly, :)

2011-04-10T20:57:00.000-04:00

Hey folks!

Busy here at home. A good busy. I was promoted to 2nd Lt with Civil Air Patrol last Thursday and taking online courses and prepping for an all day Emergency Services training next Saturday. I really hope Erik wants to join CAP when he is old enough, it's a great organization. I'm also the new Public Affairs Officer. A role I am glad and scared to have at the same time. I am NOT one to want to speak with the public, lol - but I am hoping that this role will help me feel more comfortable in front of crowds. I am behind on making blankets for Project Linus - so I need to get on that soon.

Thomas is doing well. He does me a huge favor on the weekends by watching both kids so I can work around the house and run errands. The busy season is going to kick in for the landscape business, so we are happy about that.

Erik is doing well. Still some problems in school with listening to the teachers and being fresh to them and us at times, but it's something that isn't new (in case your wondering if it's due to the major change recently in his life). He gets bored and runs his mouth without thinking first. He is such a great big brother and we can't believe he will be SEVEN in May. Oh my. How time flies by.

Olivia had her therapy evaluations and next week I sit down with the Special Ed group to go over an IEP and all that. I think with a little boost in the areas she is behind in will help her greatly and I bet she will catch up in no time. We still have mini tantrums every day, and maybe a few BIG ones, but it's all a part of learning rules and that when we say NO we are serious. Like when she was outside today and spit because Thomas told her NO (for something I can't remember). He told her to stop, she smiled and spit again. So he picked her up and brought her inside. She laughed all the way to the house, and once she was inside reality hit and it wasn't funny anymore. She did the usual, banging her head on the walls, stove, floor, etc - all while crying VERY loudly. After her head banging she threw herself on the floor and rocked, and as predicted, crawled into her bedroom and cried in bed. Five minutes later, she came back out of her room and all was back to normal. Lunch was a repeat (minus the head banging and rocking). She kept goofing off, Thomas told her NO - she was all smiles and when she did it again, oops no lunch now. As soon as I took her out of the booster seat the smile disappeared. Later in the day we had the screen installed for the door. She has never seen a screen door before so we told her to not lean on it. Of course this is what she did, and after a few NOs from us - I finally took her into another room, got on her level and told her it was NOT funny and she needs to listen. NO TOUCH. So I brought her back to the door and she didn't touch it again. It is soooo important to be consistent with these kiddos, if not, progress can take forever.

We took the kiddos to Sears today for their Easter pictures. Thankfully they have the option online to preview the pics, so I saved them - couldn't wait to show them off. hehe. The holidays have an extra special meaning this year for us. Olivia is experiencing them all for the FIRST time. Fourth of July will be a huge celebration. :) Enjoy the pics of the kiddos. Oh we also got a jogging stroller for Olivia and can't wait to use it. Thank goodness for the tax return. ;)

Amazing how 3 months in a family can change a child. She is filling out not only physically, but blossoming emotionally. She has been on her first horse (couldn't get her off without a fuss!). Had her first ice cream (she will tell you after every bite that it's cold). Saw her first motorcycle. Goes to school. Many firsts. Sometimes I do think about her birth mother missing out on all these firsts. I know she has passed on, but I can't help but think she loved her little girl, which is why she left her at the hospital (the mom was very sick and died a month later). She loved Olivia enough to bring her some place safe. I know she is looking down on Olivia and happy to see her being ~~spoiled rotten~~ loved by a family.

Home nearly 10 weeks

2011-04-01T10:05:00.000-04:00

I think it's supposed to be spring, but we just had a lovely Nor'Easter. Olivia, of course is very excited about this since she LOVES snow (she pronounces it as "noy"). Heaven forbid you make her come inside while she is playing in the snow. An all out screaming fit ensues. If the neighbors didn't know we existed before, they do now (she is VERY loud). Wait until she sees it all gone one day (mama hopes it ALL melts soon, cuz mama is tired of the snow!). Nothing really new to report this week. We seem to be in a static state right now as far as language and other things. She still speaks a LOT of her "not really Russian" baby talk. We really can't wait for her therapies to start. I think with the 3 therapists helping her out she will make great strides. Sometimes I do expect more from her, just because after repeating things MANY times she still doesn't "get it" - but then I remember we are not in a race for anything and change takes time. Heck, I'm still trying to get Thomas to stop sniffling every few minutes (and I have been working on that for 10 years!).

Right now she is demanding to be picked up. I am telling her "no, not now" - she understands it perfectly, just doesn't like my answer. lol. Last night while Thomas was giving her a bath, she kept trying to drink the water. He gave her 3 warnings to NOT drink the water - well, she didn't listen and he took her out. She cried, screamed, banged her head on the floor, rocked, you name it she did it. Brushing teeth with a screaming/crying toddler isn't easy. I calmly held her head, brushed her teeth (made funny beeping sounds to distract her, she giggled but then got mad that I made her laugh and she cried even harder). She kept yelling "bath" the entire 45 minute long crying episode. She has stamina that's for sure (and lungs!). Finally she cried herself to sleep. Someone said that it was only bath water. True, but my cats are always tracking litter in the tub, the water is soapy/dirty, and um papa told you to NOT do something and you did it. She has pretty much been her own boss before she came here and now she has to learn that mama and papa are in charge. She doesn't like that, but not many children like that anyway. :)

She keeps us busy that's for sure! LOL.

Throwing the ball to Jake

2011-03-23T21:01:00.001-04:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Doctor visits today and 2 videos

2011-03-23T21:00:00.000-04:00

Olivia had her PID specialist visit today. They are amazed at how happy and healthy she is. Her immune system (CD4 count) is super awesome (over 1800!). ALL blood tests came back wonderful and in range. Her viral load is undetectable and even tricked the HIV rapid test we did (it indicated negative HIV antibodies - which would mean she is not HIV+, but she is). They were pleased to see how active and curious she is. We don't go back for 3-4 months. She then saw the PID nutritionist who was also very happy with her progress and health status. Then we went on over to the department that prepped her for the CT scan. I know most of you have had children go under anesthesia. I haven't. So it was a new experience for me. It was interesting watching her fall asleep - I did get a little choked up, especially when I saw them wheel her past us with her eyes taped shut, the heart monitor beeping, etc - she looked so small. Glad to say though that it was over quickly and she woke up happy and very talkative. :) Results in 48 hours. No worries though as we are 100% sure her global delays are due to environment, not biological.

Olivia's tantrums have increase in intensity and duration lately. BUT it's normal and it just means she doesn't like our rules. What child like rules? We are having the usual "MINE!" thing going on here. EVERYTHING is hers apparently - so like when I was playing my guitar she claimed it was hers and got pretty aggressive getting me away from it. I ignored her and happily strummed along, she went from being angry it wasn't hers to being angry that I wasn't angry with her. Every kid loves an audience and I wasn't giving it to her. So she crawled away screaming and crying (wiping her nose on the carpet as she went, lovely) and put herself in her room to cry it out. A minute later I noticed her in the hallway, watching me (I was still strumming the guitar). I didn't look up at her - she didn't like this - so she moved closer. And closer. Finally she was on my leg (I was sitting on the floor) kicking her legs, flailing her arms, screaming LOUDLY, snots a flowin, HUGE tears - but mama still had a smile on her face and kept strumming (ok, so it was like 2 chords - lol). When she finally realize that mama was not going to pay attention to her acting like this - she decided that maybe reading a book was a better idea. lol. I of course told her what a good job reading the book. She did the same to Thomas when he was reading a book - fiercely grabbing for it from his hands - but he held on and offered her a different book. Screaming and crying ensued, but finally when she was quiet enough to hear me - I told her that papa has the book THEN Olivia can have the book. We share. She nodded her head and waited her turn. Anything the doctor and nurses had in their hands had to be pried away from her. Ahhh the joys of having a toddler again. hehe. Now if she wants our bills, she is more than welcome to them.

Videos will post separate.

7 weeks home - wow, really? Where did time go?

2011-03-12T21:01:00.000-05:00

Greetings followers!

Can't believe it's been 7 weeks since Miss O landed here in the USA. I know I said that last week too, lol. But it's true. It really feels like she has been here longer. This blog will be about one of the challenges we have come across so far with Miss O. I'm sure other adoptive families have come across the same thing - so I will just write about my observations and whatever. :) And of course will post a few pictures.

The MAMA! drama:

Olivia was raised by women in her baby house, men were seen but not nearly as often as women. Because of this, she will run to ANY man she sees and asks to be picked up. Sometimes it's the opposite - kids raised by women will prefer women over men. We took her to the mall a few weeks ago and forget everything else in the mall - she wanted to run and touch all the men. I had to apologize to a few of them, she would casually walk by someone then grab them before they got out of range. So no malls or busy places (like restaurants) for a while. She needs to learn that she can't run to just anyone. People other than Thomas and myself are asked to not pick her up and give her kisses (but you can give her a hug and a peck on the cheek of course). We want her to see that mom and dad give her loves. We are taking baby steps and it seems to be working. She'd call ANY woman "mama" before, and now it's not very often. She isn't trying to leave with other parents at drop off/pick up time at daycare anymore either. This is huge! (before, she'd try to escape the building).

I titled this "MAMA" drama for a reason. The most stressful part of the past 2-3 weeks has been Olivia's control issues. When you think about it, we took her away from EVERYTHING she knew and loved. Her friends, caretakers, foods, sights, sounds, etc. So it's no surprise she does her best to control things, including mama. She knows that if she tells us she needs to go potty, we will put her on it. Well, she can sit there for 20 minutes and not "do" anything. She just smiles, sucks her fingers and rocks. You'd ask her if she was done, she'd say no. If you tried to remove her, she'd flip out on you. Well, now when she is on there and she doesn't go within a minute - I take her off. Mama doesn't like being played, lol. I ignored her protests initially - now there is no fight. The hard part is car rides. She does not like sitting in the car seat for too long - so then she starts asking to go potty (because she knows she will leave the car) - we stop, take her to a bathroom - she does nothing. A little while later, she repeats - and this time if we ignore her - she will start full out crying so maybe she means it. Nope. Back in the car we go. My parents live an hour away - we stopped 5 times on the way there a few weeks ago. Finally towards the end of the ride, I ignored her and of course she had an accident. Thankfully that was when she was wearing pull ups 24/7. This isn't the most stressful of course, lol. It's the MAMA COME HERE! thing she has been doing lately. Thomas will be right next to her at the kitchen table, but she will yell for me. Thomas will ask her what she needs, she ignores him and continues yelling for me. Of course I don't come running, since that would only reinforce her behavior. When Thomas comes home, she will run to me and demand to be picked up (I don't pick her up if she demands it). I go to the bathroom, she runs to the bathroom and starts yelling for me. I try to cook in the kitchen, she yells for me. LOL - see the theme here? Thomas was on the floor with her yesterday drawing with the aquadoodle pen - she refused to share with him (it wasn't pretty). Today she was scribbling on the aqua doodle mat and kindly offered it to me, so I drew some pictures and handed it back to her and said "thanks for sharing" - I then quickly called Thomas over to see if she would share with him. Nope. She thrust it towards me and said "MAMA!" - so imagine the horror when I gave the thing to Thomas. Finally after a few minutes of tears and frustrating from Miss O - she started sharing nicely with him. Some people at work were like, "awe, how cute - she is bonding so quickly to you." I try to tell them it's not a LOVE thing. Not yet at least. I am not typing everything she is doing, but it's a control thing. And I know bio kids go through similar phases, but this is "different". The other day she called me over to the table, "mama! come here!" so I walked over to her to see what she needed since I had just given her food and I knew she needed a drink. As soon as I stood next to her, she went back to eating. She didn't need anything, rather she told me what to do and I did it (I even saw a little smirk on her face). Who would of ever thought that hearing a child yelling and demanding you would be so exhausting. It's weird! If I am in the room and she wants/needs something she ignores poor Thomas. BUT, Thomas will do it anyway. Like she will only want me to take her to the potty or give her a bath - if she demands mom - papa will do it. I am also the disciplinarian in the house, so you'd think she'd prefer HIM over me because of this. Nope.

This might sound weird, but I look forward to my errands outside of the house without her - BUT, I also can't wait to get back home. The tantrums/yelling episodes are a great opportunity to reinforce our position as parents. She will learn she cannot get her way all the time, and we have to stand firm and consistent or she will win (and I think she knows this!). So we have a little control freak who is going through the terrible twos. She is almost 4 so she is making up for it now I guess. LOL

Wearing Erik's snow pants

Pushing a Tonka truck around today. Was not remotely interested in sledding.

She knows she isn't supposed to touch the TV, but before I got after her for it - I just had to snap a picture of her droopy drawers. haha. Lesson learned: only buy her pants with elastic or adjustable waist bands. These were 24 month pants and they just wouldn't stay up (didn't realize how big they were the morning I put them on her or I wouldn't of sent her to school in them!)

Paulina needs a family NOW!

2011-03-09T21:19:00.001-05:00

I am putting Paulina's picture up here again. She will be transferring soon (and so will a few other precious children in the same groupa Olivia was in). This little girl was Olivia's friend - I'm guessing this because when she sees her picture Olivia practically tries to hug the computer and starts yelling things. At one point she yelled a few things that I deciphered into she wants Paulina to have a family and a cat (actually I think she wanted Paulina to come live with HER). Please pass word around about this cutie pie. From what I read, she might not have access to the medications that will keep her alive once she is transferred. So sad!

Please visit this page on Reeces Rainbow.
http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/hiv
So many BEAUTIFUL children listed that need homes. Look for the (33) next to the names, those kiddos are all from the orphanage Olivia lived in. If you have any questions about adoption, Reeces Rainbow, HIV, please leave a comment or email me (nikitaswlfspirit@gmail.com)

Olivia-isms and English words

2011-03-08T19:55:00.000-05:00

I wish I could video tape Miss Olivia talking so you could hear her. It's funny and LOUD. Like many kids that lived in an orphanage most of their lives, she is small for her age - but she makes up for it in volume. She is VERY loud! Hey, if being loud got you attention around other little kiddos - you learn it works. I thought I'd list some words that she can say clearly and words that (if your around her enough) need a little deciphering to figure out.

Words we can understand (of course with her cute accent):

Stop (this is her favorite word right now)
Kitty (or she calls them kitty-cah)
Dog (or she calls them woo-woos)
Jake (our dog's name)
Pogy (one of our cat's names)
Ball
Car
Bus
Erik (or she says Erika)
Mama (this I hear constantly) - as in YELLING repeatedly
Papa
Book
Come Here (sounds like ca meah)
Good Night
Good Morning (sounds like goo mooing)
Cup
No
Yes (sounds like thef)
Soup! (well, doooop! is what she says. I can tell the kids ate it a lot as she LOVES doooop!)
Water (wadee)
Up
Thank you (tink oooh)
More (she does the sign for this at the same time as well)
Juice (deuce)
Potato (pa ta da)
Hot (kot) The 'H' sound is hard for Russian speaking people to pronounce
Again
Potty

There are probably 20 more words I didn't list, but you get the idea. She has been home 6 weeks and I think that's a pretty decent vocabulary. And those above words are WITHOUT prompting. In other words, she will say them on her own and can put 2 words together at times. Other words she will repeat if you tell them to her. She does have a hard time clearly pronouncing many sounds, speech therapy will help with that. She can't say her name - but will instead use the name they called her. She refers to herself as Ma-touk (that's not how it's spelled though of course) - this was actually her last name.

Olivia-isms

Nim - mine
boona - this can mean various things (she says it sometimes when having fun)
peetsey - pee
det det - what is it
ne kootchie - dont want
ee a - Olivia

She still talks in her crazy baby babble - but it's not as constant as it once was. Sometimes thats all she will speak, sometimes she throws in English words and other times who knows what she is saying. LOL.

6 weeks home already? Geesh, time flies!

2011-03-05T20:50:00.000-05:00

Greetings blog followers! A couple more weeks till spring and you have no idea how much I want all this snow to disappear! Olivia has no idea there is a little club house with slide, sand box or anything else in the yard because she came to NH when snow was already covering things. I can't wait for her to run around and explore the woods with us. Here is a picture of the snow - Thomas had to shovel some of it away from the windows so we could get some sun light.

Just a little bit of snow...

The mobile home we rent, ladder not necessary to get on the roof now.

Our igloo - penguins not included.

Miss O is doing well. Last Tuesday we spent 6 hours in the Emergency Room though. She has had a cold for 2-3 weeks and then Monday night she spiked a crazy fever. So with a 105 temp, off we went to the ER. She let me hold her most of the time, the poor girl was so out of it. We left with a script for Amox - Bronchitis and a cold were the official diagnoses. Once her fever broke late Tuesday night - she was back to her old self the very next day. At least we know how she handles being sick and we know the signs for when she has a fever. I rocked her for 8 hours the day she had a fever - some of the time she'd hold my hand. Even though I obviously hated her being so sick, it was good to see that she wanted to be held and loved on - she even held my hand during the worst of her fevers. The following pictures were taken the day after the ER trip - you can tell she is back to her normal little self.

Erik and Olivia watching the Wiggles together. Erik is starting to like the little Monkey, now that she isn't as "wild" as she once was.

And last but not least, we had a recent visit at the Children's Hospital. We were told Olivia had a VSD (heart condition) - but the echo said otherwise. Doctor said it might of healed itself, but he did see an ASD - but the hole is so tiny they don't do anything for it - so no worries. He wants to see her again in 2 years. We were told she had cardiomyopathy - negative on that too. Since Olivia came to the USA with pretty much a one sentence medical record (actually it was a line in the court document!) - our PID nurse wanted to just do a basic HIV test on Olivia so they could put the results in her medical record. The test took 20 minutes and when the nurse checked the result she turned to us with a big smile and said, "how would you like it if she was NEGATIVE?" - well, hmmm - let me think about that one. LOL. I cried a bit, but I told her let's not get our hopes up - wait until the lab does their extensive analysis first. I had to tell the nurse to calm down, lol. I told her that if Olivia came back negative, I would never stop advocating for the little ones needing families and never stop educating people about HIV/AIDS - it's just too important in my life right now. The following day I called the nurse to see if the lab had the confirmation results back yet. I could tell in the nurse's voice that the results were positive without her even saying so. She felt HORRIBLE about the false negative. I told her no worries - and that I was glad I didn't get excited the day the test came back negative. Olivia has gained a total of 3 pounds since being home. She has chunky thighs now! She is also FINALLY on the growth chart for weight. She is in the 6th percentile for weight. 1st percentile for height. Not on the chart for head circumference yet. The 23rd she has her CT scan under sedation....that's going to be a LONG day. Well, I think that is it until next time. :)

Why we need to bring these babies home asap....

2011-02-27T20:22:00.000-05:00

Oh Nikita....so many people loved you from 1/2 way across the pond. Nikita passed away on Friday. Leukemia. I fell in love with Nikita when I first saw his picture on Reece's Rainbow over a year ago. I love his name as it is the same as an arctic wolf that I had worked with at a Wolf Rescue in Colorado. Nikita, the wolf, was confined to his 5x8 wooden crate his entire life before he was rescued. All he knew were the boards that confined him, and if he was lucky he was fed a decent meal. When rescued and freed from his prison, he flourished and became a very powerful and noble animal - one I was very glad to have as a friend. Nikita passed away at the very old age of 18. He had a full life and was surrounded by many that cared for him. He had to learn how to trust once he was rescued....and trust he did. He was my best friend, in wolf's clothing. When I first laid eyes on Nikita, I saw a sleepy and drugged little boy (yes, they are rumored to drug the children where he lived) that tugged on my heart strings. But he was a Nikita (not sure if his real name) - strong and full of promise, like my wolf friend! I was so happy that a family was coming for him finally. He would lead a FULL life and flourish in a family. But 10 minutes ago, while reading emails....I learned that he passed away. His family is devastated. I couldn't imagine the grief. Yes, they didn't meet him yet so how could they love him? It's kinda like a pregnancy. You don't know that baby growing inside you, but in a way you do....hard to explain. We felt the same way once we officially sent in paperwork to RR for Olivia. You look at their pictures every day (videos if you are lucky), and count down the days until you can hold them in your arms. Their other boy (Dusty) will be their focus as they do what they can to bring him home asap. Let's keep them in our prayers. Dusty's rescue will mean so much more to them now.

Sweet Marlena also passed away recently....her family was coming for her as well.

We need to bring these children home. Period. We need to advocate for the ones with out families and support those that have families coming for them. Ugh. I can't type anymore...fly high little Nikita...you are free.

Random cuteness (totally typed by Erik - without spelling help)

2011-02-26T12:47:00.000-05:00

She is funny and smart and full of energy!! and fast!! too. She likes my toy truck.

Olivia has good smiles !!!!!!!

smile!!!!!

sweep up Olivia.

Olivia is sweeping her room.

Some pics from yesterday

2011-02-22T17:07:00.000-05:00

Olivia's daycare was closed on Monday due to the holiday - so I did my best to keep up with her. LOL. Simple things keep her mind busy, so the laundry basket became a toy for well over an hour. She'd sit in it, and I'd swing her in circles - of course I'd end up falling over because I got dizzy - she thought that was a riot. She used the sign for "more" over and over and over again. Needless to say I have blisters from holding onto the handles of the basket for so long! :)

This last pic is of her tasting the veggie soup. After a few bites she decided she liked it and had another bowl. Notice the chocolate pudding in the other bowl - she does NOT like chocolate. Say what?? lol.

One month home!

2011-02-20T21:07:00.000-05:00

Wow - been a month already. I'm sitting here typing as Thomas gives Olivia her bath (she LOVES water). Today was her first day at church. She met everyone and then Thomas took her downstairs to the nursery to play with the toys. She cannot sit still and be quiet (yet), so Thomas took her to play. She loves meeting people and still doesn't know what a stranger is. They are happy to have the newest member of the church with them in person - we had many people congratulating us. And of course when they saw how much running around she does they also commented that she is a busy little bee. Ha! That is the understatement of the year. ;)

Next month she goes to the Children's Hospital for a CT scan of her brain and an echo of her heart - both done under sedation. And I just sent off a letter to the school district asking them about the therapies she needs. We look forward to the progress we know she will make once she gets some help. She is smart! I will be honest in saying that her behavior has been difficult at times. She is turning 4 in August, but is so very much like a 2 year old (which was confirmed during her developmental testing). Now we are into the "NO!" stage - everything is Nyet (or no). Tantrums today were pretty crazy. When you think about it - it's what a typical 2 year old does. LOL - geesh, we were spoiled with Erik. He was VERY easy and never went through the terrible twos or threes. Even though it is difficult, especially when you toss in the language barrier, it's healthy. She is testing boundaries, learning rules, learning how far she can push mama and papa (and the cats), and curious about EVERYTHING under the sun. I just wish her attention span was longer than 5 seconds, lol. So yes, it is difficult at times, but she is still learning about her new world and there is a LOT to learn.

English will come with time. I do wish she was able to speak a few words though, it would be much easier! Sometimes I could swear she is saying something in English - but she can be very hard to understand. Lol - even what words she speaks in Russian can be hard to understand. 95% of her spoken language is baby babble (and what I call Olivia-isms). She mimics English words wonderfully, but does not say much back to us in English (yet!). I purchased a sign language video for her - but with her attention span, she just can't watch it. Now, if the Wiggles signed in their DVDs - we'd be all set.

One month home. Just amazing. Sometimes we forget it has ONLY been a month. She is settling in nicely and we do have some rough spots - but we are also having rough spots with Erik. Mr. Erik had detention last week - and he's only 6! It's probably partly due to the big change at home. Having our attention 100% to having much less (since we can't take our eyes off her). It's a huge adjustment for him - having a constantly on the go sister now, but he has to learn that things will settle down in the near future. We have a parent/teacher meeting tomorrow. Ugh. So, we have our hands full. lol.

The two kiddos brushing their teeth together. Olivia is wearing her "chewy" necklace - it's a great little heart shaped chewable thing that she can bite and suck on. She still sucks on her fingers and probably will for a long time, but the necklace comes in handy when she just feels like chewing on something.

Sometimes I feel like banging my head on the wall (when she is having a fit), but at some point in the day I am usually holding her and I just close my eyes and enjoy the moment. :)

Still perfect in our eyes :)

2011-02-14T20:40:00.000-05:00

Little Olivia had her psychological developement exam today at the Children's Hospital. Thomas took her and brought home what they determined with the numerous tests they had Olivia complete. It was determined that she has "global developemental delays" and needs physical, occupational, and speech therapy. She is 3 1/2 but in many ways more like a 2 year old. Thomas and I knew she would probably test out around the 2 year mark - she is very much like a baby at times, but seeing it written on paper made it feel more real. Other times she is totally a 3 year old. No worries though because she IS a smart little monkey that just needs a little help in some areas. Heck, I need help in some areas. I have always had a hard time in school, but it was easy for me to cover it up and I didn't tell anyone until I was in college. I still have some problems retaining/learning some things at work and Thomas had some difficulty in school growing up as well - so we can relate in a way.

She goes back for a follow up test and we are all positive she will show improvements - and if she doesn't at that point - that's perfectly fine with us. We do not want to rush her, this is all in her own time, she will catch on whether it's next week, next month, or next year. For 3 1/2 years she was well taken care of (thank goodness for a wonderful baby home), but you only have so much stimulation in such an environment, so how can you NOT be delayed in some areas? So we will be venturing into the world of IEPs (haha - I hear so many wonderful stories about them from other parents <----- insert eye roll and sarcasm). I have to contact a lady in town that coordinates all the therapies in the school system here.

We only knew about the HIV diagnosis when we committed to adopt her this past April. Of course we knew there could always be other things we'd learn once actually in her country - that would never have stopped our mission to save our baby girl. She has a heart condition (echocardiogram is next month) and both eyes cross and we need to figure out why (she had an illness when an infant that might of caused it, so she needs to see a neurologist and ophthalmologist). We both have NEVER thought twice about these "surprise" issues - she is our daughter and she will get the medical care she needs. I shudder to think what her future might of been if she was never adopted. I shudder to think about all the little ones left behind that do not have a family coming for them and the medical care THEY so desparately need. We are so lucky to have been blessed with our little monkey.

Just a couple videos :)

2011-02-12T21:23:00.000-05:00

First, though, is a picture from our "toddler shower" that our wonderful church held for us. My parents, Erik and myself were there and it was great (Thomas was still in the Ukraine). We are very lucky to have a wonderful church family supporting us. :) The picture in the upper right hand corner is from our "toddler shower" - I couldn't get it off their website by itself - so it copied the entire page of the bulletin instead.

The above video is of Olivia rocking to the Wiggles. She usually rocks while on the couch, but landed on the dog bed instead. This is her contented rocking (and sucking her fingers). When having a tantrum I have to move her to the middle of the floor so she doesn't hurt herself (she rocks hard when upset). The rocking is slowly starting to decrease - but with all the changes in her life - it's understandable why she continues to do it (self soothe).

The above video is Olivia sending everyone kisses. She is too little to understand that many people helped bring her home.

The above needs no explaination. LOL. Of course the dog and one of the cats wanted to join in as well.

A couple pictures

2011-02-10T21:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry the blog posts have been a little pic light lately. So here are a few pictures. :)

Confused little monkey

2011-02-09T20:41:00.000-05:00

Olivia (aka monkey, energizer bunny, little bandit, etc) is a confused little girl. I was wondering how she felt about being there - and today I figured it out. When I arrived and announced my arrival she squealed with delight and yelled out "COAT!" (haha, not mama). She then grabbed her coat and wanted me to put it on her. After I did, she happily hugged and told her teachers (she has 2) good bye. Of course we had to wait for Erik to arrive on the school bus so we walked around the big class room. She pointed to the mats on a shelf and she pretended to snore - that's what they nap on. Then she took me to a carpeted corner, pointed to the floor and snored again - that is where they nap on the mats. A few kids came into the room from another class and ran over and talked to her and hugged her - this distracted her which was great. Erik showed up a few minutes later and then we left.

So while she clearly wants to leave - she does seem to enjoy the company of the kids (which is expected). She went to look at a picture a little girl was drawing and the little girl gave her a big hug (oh and the boys hug her too!). She just doesn't understand WHY she is there. I'm hoping to get a hold of someone local that speaks Russian to try and explain in simple terms why she goes to school and that she will always come home.

I asked the teacher how she was as far as crying today. She cried a lot off and on. She cried when the other parents arrived to drop off their kids. Cried when a teacher would leave the room. Cried when Erik left for school on the bus. There is a 1/2 door at the entrance to the large classroom she is in. All the children in the morning (27 of them) are in the same room until breakfast is over. Every time a parent went through that 1/2 door, Olivia would try to sneak out with them when they left. Poor little monkey.

In a few weeks this will all be behind her - it's just going to be quite confusing for a while.

Our new boy (no, we didn't adopt again - but I wish we could!)

2011-02-08T14:10:00.001-05:00

Greetings Stern Family followers!

We have a new boy. Yup. But chances are we will never meet him. We might never get to shake his hand and tell him in person how proud we are of him - but at least he will know that people far away care for him. I have always thought about the children in Africa. I sponsored my first child through Children International MANY years ago. I wrote a book about children in Africa a long time ago - back when the floppy disks were like 5" square - but deleted the story some how! Adoption has always been on my mind, but most of my family probably never knew that. After we adopted Olivia, I thought - I can't stop now. I can NOT just move on and not help other children (if I can). Someone posted a link on Face Book the other day and I followed it. Then I followed another link from that page and found Project Global Hope. You can sponsor children for $35 or $70 to pay for them to go to school and have food. The hubby wasn't too interested in sponsoring, but Erik was. He says he wants to adopt from Africa when he is older (you go Erik! woohoo!). So we found Gabriel. He is 15 years old. He is in Junior High School and wants to go on to college after he graduates. He is an orphan and lives with 3 siblings at an orphanage in Ghana. Our sponsorship will pay for his tuition, books, lunches, uniform, etc. I will be canceling my cell phone an getting one of those pay as you go cheapy things - so the money saved there will go towards Gabriel. $35 a month. $35 a month will send this deserving young man to school. We will get frequent updates on him (I think updates on his grades too) and pictures and can exchange letters and send him small gifts. Erik is excited to learn more about Gabriel. Here is the link to the organization we found Gabriel through: http://www.projectglobalhope.org/

I can't fix the picture by the way - so it's side ways

1st day of daycare

2011-02-07T22:27:00.000-05:00

This morning started off with excitement when I mentioned school to Olivia (school is easier for her to say than "daycare"). She accompanied me everyday last week when I'd take Erik to the daycare to wait for his bus, and then we'd return in the afternoon to pick him up - so she knew where she was going this morning when I mentioned "school." She was so excited this morning that she didn't want to eat - and um, Miss Olivia LOVES to eat. We bought her a Tinker bell backpack and she knows it's hers. Well, Erik picked it up to help me bring things to the car and Miss Olivia had a melt down. He was, after all, carrying HER backpack. I brought the kids into the daycare and said good bye to Erik - Olivia was already at the little indoor slide and a little boy was talking to her - so I left. A call mid-day to the daycare and all was well.

I walked into the daycare in the afternoon and watched her. She was sitting at a table with 4 other girls coloring. While I was watching, another teacher told me she did fine on her first day. The teacher in Olivia's room noticed me and told Olivia I was there. Olivia turned around, put her hands up in the air, started shaking, yelled out MAMA! and ran to me. Oh, Olivia shakes and puts her arms up in the air when she is either excited or scared - thought I'd clarify, lol. But the look on her face wasn't of joy - it was a look of confusion really. I picked her up and she started babbling about things. I put her down and the teacher called her back to the table to color some more (we had to wait for Erik to get off the bus). I looked to my left and noticed her backpack was unzippered, so I zippered it. Well, Miss Olivia saw me messing with the back pack and she came running to me CRYING. I picked her up and she babbled and babbled, cried big tears and was just a mess. The only thing I could make out that she was saying in Russian was " don't want" - now she either meant I don't want to leave OR let's leave. I have no clue. I had a funny feeling she'd probably be confused the first week. If you think about it - we took her from her friends in the Ukraine - she lived with children her whole life - then we took her away. Today I drop her off at the daycare, she is surrounded by people who do not speak her language - but there are kids and toys (and food!). Poor kiddo. Who knows what her little mind is thinking....

The car ride home she was whiny. Once we were inside our house - she was back to her normal self. I think once she gets used to the new routine and knows she goes to school to have fun and play with other kids (which she LOVES) and she also gets to go home, things will be easier for her. I really do wish I knew what she was telling me when I picked her up at the daycare.

Language and school (aka daycare)

2011-02-06T20:59:00.000-05:00

This morning Olivia got up at 9 am (VERY late for her!). By this time Erik was already in the living room watching cartoons. She came out of her room and looked into Erik's - noticed he was missing and grabbed my hand. She told me to follow her so I did - and as she pointed to Erik's room she said, "mama where Erik?" She was concerned that her brother wasn't in bed (where she ususally finds him in the mornings since she is the 1st one up most days). I told her he was watching TV - so she ran and squealed with delight when she found him. It's amazing how much she already understands. She talks A LOT - but mostly in baby talk (really doesn't speak much in the way of clear Russian words either). English words she mimics perfectly fine - but for her to say them without prompting is so wonderful to hear.

We bought her a tinkerbell back pack for daycare, which she starts full time tomorrow. If you mention school to her - she gets soooo happy. Let's keep fingers crossed that full days of daycare go smoothly. I think nap time will be hardest for her since she has never napped on a floor before (always in her bed). Hopefully she does the monkey see monkey do thing and copies what the others do. I asked the teachers if they wanted us to do 1/2 days with her for a couple days and they said they were more than ready for her full time and are excited to see how she progresses.

I still can't believe she has only been home 2 weeks!

2 weeks home!

2011-02-04T15:14:00.000-05:00

Time for my weekly update. It would be more frequently, but um - she keeps me kinda busy and right now I'm reading every one else's blog in the evening when she is in bed! :)

Miss Olivia is doing well. The following is a list of accomplishments, likes and dislikes:

LOVES soy yogurt (but we need to get her a bib), bananas, fake mashed potatoes (yup, not real ones - weird), roast beef hash (she says "mmm" the entire time she is eating it), milk (lactaid milk), sugar free grape juice, french fries, fish (don't worry, no sushi), grilled cheese.

LOVES bath time. She only cleaned herself the first couple times (and HATED when you touched her) - but now she will splash a little bit and not clean herself - which is FINE with me because that's what a mama (and papa) is for! Bubble baths annoy her though - she can't see the toys.

LOVES her cat Pogy. Our other cat stays away from children. Olivia likes the dog, but LOVES Pogy.

LOVES the Wiggles. She has a thing for men right now and loves music - so the Wiggles are her thing. lol.

DISLIKES veggies. Yup. Will not eat them raw or cooked. So mama will be sneaking them into the foods she DOES like so she gets a good daily dose of vegetables. And honestly, this is the only thing she doesn't like so far.

With foods we are taking it SLOW - her tummy is having a hard enough time adjusting to her new med dosages so we don't want to upset it more.

PROGRESS. Understands quite a bit of English. Mimics what we say very well. Knows the sign language we taught her - but does not mimic the signs.

PROGRESS. Dry pull ups in the morning. She will wake up and knock on her door in the wee hours of the morning if she needs to go potty. Before, the pull up would be SOAKED. I think her body is finally adjusted to the time difference and everything - she was probably too tired to wake up if she had to go. She would totally be in underwear if it wasn't for the diet mishaps (if you know what I mean).

PROGRESS. Being held! She is getting much better at this. She was NOT comfortable with being held before. She likes the rocking chair or mama holding her while swaying to music. I have almost rocked her to a sleep a few times, but she will get up and put herself into bed.

PROGRESS. Minimal fighting with the car seat. She will protest here and there, but it's not as bad as it was last week.

PROGRESS. Daycare. Today was an hour of daycare to see how she would do. So far so good. Being with other children with her energy level will be great and she will learn English faster. Nap time will be interesting for her - but hopefully she follows the other kids' leads. :)

Wow - all this in only 2 weeks! Very proud of her. It hasn't been easy for her or us (Thomas, Kris and Erik) - but it IS a lot of adjusting and that just can't be expected to be overcome in a few weeks. Some days are very hard, some days are not. It's been interesting and I can't wait to see more progress within the next few weeks!

Undetectable!

2011-02-02T16:33:00.000-05:00

Just spoke with the nurse at the Children's Hospital regarding all the blood work that was done on Olivia last Thursday. All results are now in. Her CD4 count (measures her immune system) is good and her viral load (how much virus is in the blood) is UNDETECTABLE (she will always have HIV though - Undetectable means there is not enough in her blood for the tests to pick it up). This is great news and what you ultimately strive for when treating HIV. We are very lucky that Miss Olivia was in a decent baby home that has the children on medications that are very comparable to those here in the US. We knew she was taken care of before we brought her home - but with actual tests results in hand now - we feel much better!

Today she is feeling pretty yucky though. She had 3 shots on Monday and is now congested and just really tired. I put her down for a nap at 1pm today - and at 3pm I woke her up (usually she is wide awake). All she wanted was for me to hold her and rock her in the rocking chair, or carry her around. At one point she wanted down and walked into her room and hopped back into bed. So I kept the door open to check on her - and she just closed the door. Her rocking and sucking fingers episodes has increased today as well - a clear sign she is NOT herself. I was talking to my mom on the phone and had to put her down - I have never seen her rock from front to back while in a seated position before - yup baby girl is NOT feeling well. Erik just went into her room to check on her since we don't want her sleeping too late or she won't go to sleep tonight. Keep fingers crossed she feels better soon.

Please visit my other blog

2011-01-30T20:19:00.000-05:00

I finally have my new blog up and running - still have work to do to make it super nice, but at least it's up. It will be a blog solely dedicated to helping children find their forever families.

www.projecthomewardbound .blogspot.com

Of course this blog will still be here for updates on Olivia. :)

Olivia update - 1 week home

2011-01-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

Greetings from NH!

After some funky things going on with this blog, I think I finally got it fixed. Still doesn't look the way I want it to - but hopefully it behaves this time.

1 week ago Olivia came home. Odd thing is that it feels like she has been here a lot longer. When I look back to last week and her first weekend home - I am amazed at her progress. She went from absolute terror around animals to trying to clean the cat off with a towel and sweeping him (she was sweeping the floor and thought he needed a good cleaning too). She also tries to pick him up (he's only 4 lbs lighter than her). When they approach her she still yells "mama" (which by the way is still any adult) but then she recovers and bothers them. lol. She went from aggressively biting herself or others when frustrated/stressed to just sucking her fingers. Biting other people's clothing has changed to just mouthing people. We still have to stop that of course but at least she is making progress! When she mouths people (it looks like she is giving a bear hug, but she isn't) I take her away from them, put her on the floor and we either ignore or re-direct (depends on her intensity at the time) - it's working! Picking up food she has dropped on the floor is now not quickly eaten and then laughed over - she will now spit it out and give it to me to throw away (gross, but again, progress). Unease at being held has now turned into a snuggle for a minute. Actually today I rocked her while watching the Wiggles and she dozed off (a first!). Of course when I picked her up and put her in her room for nap she woke up and told me "ne kootchie" (don't want) when I covered her with a blanket - then she passed back out. And yesterday while at the doctor's office she started to cry when the doctor laid her down on the exam table so he let her up and she came running to me. We held each other, she cried a bit, sucked her fingers and let me rock her. I didn't like that she was scared - but she came to me for comfort!

Erik is doing well with his little sister. It can be overwhelming at times just because right now she is more like a 2 year old and needs constant supervision - but he really tries to understand. He loves helping her and showing her how to play with toys (she doesn't understand the play kitchen yet, lol). He also earned his yellow/white belt in karate back and mama will be treating him tomorrow to lunch (just the two of us). Olivia LOVES her brother. She loves children in general because she grew up with them - but it's still pretty cute when you say his name and she gets all giggly.

Medical news on little Olivia. The HIV specialist was pleased with how active she is (I also asked him to test her blood for caffine - LOL). It's a GREAT program at the Children's Hospital. They were also pleased with the care she apparently received at her baby house (#33). He is concerned with the growth chart results - but all of you that have adopted know that these kiddos are SMALL for their age. She is not even on the chart yet for height, weight and head circumference. Her head is flat in the back (common if you are not taken out of your crib a lot), she is psychologically delayed (no surprised to T and me), and her small head concern the doc so a neurological exam and CT/MRI scans are in her future. She also has to see a cardiologist, opthamologist, nutritionist, and neurologist. We can't wait for all these tests to be done so we can have a game plan in place - but so far there is nothing truly concerning. 1/2 her blood tests came back this afternoon and everything looks great. Next week we will know her CD4 and RNA counts. Monday she will have her immunizations and a physical done so she can start daycare in a week. Lots going on for our little girl - but she is taking them in stride and amazing us with her progress.

This was taken 4 days ago - she was "shopping" I think

Surrounded by her pets

No words needed for this pic. :)

2011-01-24T12:19:00.000-05:00

I will do a more detailed post later tonight about Olivia's first 3 days in a family. I will post truthfully as I don't like sugar coated stories. :) Don't worry, nothing bad - just my observations and some of Olivia's accomplishments. She is one smart cookie I tell ya.

She ate her entire cup of soy yogurt and wanted some more potatoes, so I just gave her the almost empty container and she enjoyed every last bit (can you tell)?

More Pics.

2011-01-23T22:56:00.000-05:00

The waiting room at the Kiev train station, which you have to pay to get into.

Enjoying the archetecture while laying on a couch in the train station.

A local side street in Olivia's town

Take a good look at the utility pole. The wooden poles are tied to concrete ones and the woooden pole is a few feet off the ground!! This entire road is set up like this.

The court house.

A pretty Ukraine church and some smaller city buses in Donetsk.

Olivia enjoying the lights of the sky scraper outside of our apartment in Kiev. Now you see her....

Now you don't.

The builings at the end of the street, in the way back, is TGI Fridays. If you turn 180 degrees....

The first half of my walk from next to the tall sky scraper in the middle of the pic.
Olivia loved these daily walks seeing the city of Kiev and the pigions.

The smallest apt. bathroom I have ever been in!! That door scrapes against the machine to close and to take this photo, I was standing in the bath tub.

Now that we are home, and not on a french fry time line, these are pics I wanted to send buy felt I had not enough time to. Enjoy!! Olivia is a quick learner and learning english words well. She is proud that she can now say, more please pappa. That is my goal for this week, to break the language barrier!!

Thomas

Home at last!

2011-01-21T18:55:00.000-05:00

Due to the snow storm that was coming up our way, Thomas' late night flight was canceled. He spoke with someone at the Philly airport and they managed to get him on the 6:15 pm flight. Yay! Two co-workers waited with us (Erik and myself) and next thing you know Thomas walks towards us pushing a travel weary Olivia in her stroller. Tricia and Linda (my co-workers) bought Erik a donut, some munchkins and a much needed coffee for Thomas. Thank you girls!

Here is a picture Thomas took of Olivia on the long flight over the pond. He said she had some melt downs that really tested his patience, but overall she did pretty well. He saw what she does when frustrated - bites. She bit him, the seat, pillows, the wires to the headphones, etc etc. Well, I guess when you can't convey how you feel with words - showing your displeasure in other ways gets attention.

Picture of Olivia playing with a loud truck while wearing my sneakers.

Eating soy yogurt - she LOVES the stuff

DONE!!

2011-01-19T09:25:00.000-05:00

We finished paper work today at 3:30pm!! Medical and Embassy was, I thought, pretty painless. Now we go home to the United States of America!! We leave tomarrow morning at 5:30am to Frankfurt, Germany with other adoption families. We should arrive at Manchester, NH USA at 10:30pm ulness I can get a 6;00pm flight out of Philly, then home at 7:30pm. Once again, thank you for every one who has supported us in our journey!

Thomas and Olivia:)

Monday.

2011-01-17T07:54:00.000-05:00

Skyscraper outside our Apt. in Kiev.

Enjoying TGI Fridays.

Nice shirt!

Back in time. The Liberty Bell in the Philly airport. Entirley built of legos!!

Monday, can get buisness done. Medical is done. Hopefully US Embassy tommarrow, then HOME!! Have to go.

Olivioa Groupa, another shot.

2011-01-16T07:19:00.000-05:00

All bungled up for the USA.

Sunday

2011-01-16T07:15:00.000-05:00

Olivia on Friday, Gotcha day with her groupa.

Onother pic

You think Olivia is happy on the train?

Olivila swing on swing set out side apt. in Kiev.

Sorry post is short, Olivia just ran out of french fries here at TGI Friday in Kiev.

Gotcha Day!!

2011-01-14T07:42:00.000-05:00

Today is Friday, passport came in!! Gotcha Day!! Have train tickets back to Kiev! Have to leave now to get ready for the train ride.

Olivia foam tower I built for her.

Olivia after she had fun pushing the tower over.

Olivia listening to the sound made by her light gizzmo. This pic.made me laugh.

Olivia walking on her steep stone path of circles. She made the path way her self. Nice curve to it.
Have to go. Thomas.

Some Pics.

2011-01-13T01:47:00.000-05:00

The plane I took to cross the ocean from USA.

Olivia with her moose that says New Hampshire Prinsess and a book.

Stairs to my apartment. No shoveling, just 3" of packed ice. Public stairs are the same. Went to local store on steep hill last night and walked into a clean patch of ice. Slide 20 feet down the sidewalk. Good thing I know how to snowboard, saved me from falling.

McDonalds is quiet in the morning. Have to go now and visit Olivia at the baby house.

1/11/11

2011-01-12T07:51:00.000-05:00

Hello,

I am doing great!! Fun/interesting being alone in a forign counrty. Buzy day yesterday!! Got off the train at 7:00am and done at 7:00pm. Non stop, signing documents, traveling all over Donestsk, standing and waiting in lines. Went to baby house/ orphanage, 4 times. Crazy day, but got all the paperwork done in one day. Awesome team here!! They pulled off miracles! Now just waiting around for three days for passport. I get to visit Olivia while waiting, which is great!! Hopefully passport on Friday, which = Gotcha Day!! Then 12 hr. train ride back to Kiev with our daughter. So many stories to tell from yesterday. Mc Donalds is probably going to kick me out, been here a while catching up online. I tried to include pics, but photos are not loading into/ can't find in folder. I will update agian when I get hungry.

Thomas and Olivia

Back again!

2011-01-10T11:09:00.000-05:00

I have arrived in Kiev, Ukraine safe and sound coming from NH, USA. One more hour of waiting in the train station to take my 14 hour train ride to Olivias city. Since I left NH I have recieved 1 hr. of sleep. I hope the train will be comfy enough to get some sleep. Pics to come maybe tomorrow. It feels good to be back in the Ukraine.
Blogged by Olivia's father, Thomas :)

Getting ready.

2011-01-09T00:25:00.000-05:00

Krissy and I are packing luggage and making sure all the needed paper work is all set for trip #2 tomorrow. This is Olivia's bed waiting for her when she comes home.

posted by Thomas.

Plane tickets and a grant

2011-01-07T08:38:00.000-05:00

Thomas leaves this Sunday to finish up things and bring Olivia home. Keeping fingers crossed for NO storms while they travel. Unfortunately the fast passports are no more - so instead of 1 day processing - they will have to wait 3-5 days. Please pray they are home as soon as possible, he is only going over there with so much money.

Happy to report we were awarded a grant. BUT, of course there is a catch. We have to pay for things up front (which mean the tickets to get Thomas and Olivia home) and then the foundation will reimburse us. And of course the reimbursing can take 1-2 months. SO, I am reaching out for the last time (yay) asking for help in raising the last of the money to bring them home. The CHIP IN button to the left is super easy to use. ANY donation is very appreciated. We are in the home stretch now and any financial assistance is a blessing. Since we had to miss some paychecks on our first trip to EE, bills are backed up and I'm not sure how to pay for some things. The tax return SHOULD help this year, but of course that won't be for a while yet. ::sigh::

So I'm hoping that we can all pull together to raise the last of the funds to finish this leg of our journey. The next journey starts once our girl is on US soil. Just a few weeks away too!

Almost ready for our new addition

2010-12-31T23:05:00.000-05:00

Picked up a few things today for Olivia. Hardest part was choosing the car seat. I have spent the past couple weeks doing online research for safety ratings and reading customer reviews. The top of my "Must Have" list was a Britax. But no way could we afford two of them (one for my car, one for hubby's car). Well, we settled on the Alpha Omega Elite car seat - it's REALLY nice. Due to the cost of it, I will have to save up for the 2nd one - but that's ok since Olivia won't be home for a couple weeks yet anyway. Actually...I believe Toys-R-Us has layaway - so that's even better!

We also picked up a harness thing. I used to think they were silly. I mean really, you can't control your child so you have to use a leash? Well, now I take that back! Erik was (and continues to be) a VERY low maintenance, easy going, never run off kind of kid. So we have been spoiled. Olivia is full of energy and curiosity - and everything will be new to her. Plus there is the language barrier. We are worried about her taking off away from Thomas in the airports - so he is going armed with the harness, an umbrella stroller and melatonin.

Here is Erik modeling the Monkey Backpack Harness

We stopped by another store and found a fairly cheap booster for her. She won't be using the tray as the booster sits low enough that we can pull her right up to the table.

We just need a crib mattress for her toddler bed and another car seat. This weekend Erik is in charge of baby proofing the house to make sure there are no hazards. He is also in charge of supervising the adults putting together his sister's toddler bed. :)

Little boys...

2010-12-29T20:56:00.000-05:00

Since the hubby doesn't leave for the Ukraine until the 9th, I have some time to blog about other things weighing heavily on my heart. We only had 4 days to visit with Olivia, and in those 4 days we saw the little line of kids being led from the music room and past the play room we were in. I loved looking at them...and listening to them laugh and talk to each other. I have blogged about little Kristopher and James before. How I so wish they would have a mama and papa coming for them. James is all boy and even though he was only around us for a short time he is a fun little guy! I helped him climb on top of a stuffed animal thing, holding his hand and really it struck me...his mama should be helping him and making sure he doesn't fall. Where is his mama? I wish more boys would find mamas (Molly, I think we feel the same about this). We (Thomas and I) had always wanted a little girl and boy. We have Erik, so we specifically looked for a little girl to welcome into our family. I have my girl now and Erik finally has the sister he has been asking for. If we ever had the opportunity to adopt again, it would most definitely be a little boy. If we had the house and money to do so - I'd be sneaking Kristopher home with us. I'm afraid for these little guys. When they age out of the system, where do they go? They get lost...become a statistic...forgotten. Did you know that 10% of these kids commit suicide when they are sent into the real world? With no papa to steer them in the right direction, no father figure to model after, most boys turn to crime. No mama to tell them that they are loved and are worth something. How will they pay for the medications they need to survive?

I worry about the girls too of course! There are just so many boys out there. So many boys in Olivia's baby house. So if your looking for a little man in your life or if you are going there for a little girl, maybe you could open your heart and home for one of the little men here. :)


OK, I know Ellis' photo is sideways, couldn't fix it! Doesn't affect the cuteness though! :)

January 9th

2010-12-27T19:24:00.000-05:00

Hope all of you had a great Christmas. We did. Just think, next Christmas Olivia will be here with us! Mom bought Olivia a super soft teddy bear and sleepers. Erik ended up with a nice assortment of Wii games, nerf guns, board games and legos (yup, more legos!). The people that watched Erik for us while we were in the Ukraine gave him quite a few wonderful gifts - it even brought tears to Erik's eyes. He misses them. Here are some pics from Christmas morning.

Our tree (yes it's a fake one). The cat felt left out as there were no gifts for him this year.

Jake of course had to get in the middle of everything. Silly sweet dog.

Erik unwrapping gifts while the cat chewed on them and the dog made sure to be in the pic!

Erik is happy to receive his jar of cherries from Nee Nee and Poppy (the people who watched him for us while we were in the Ukraine).

Soft and cuddly teddy bear Mom bought for Olivia

Super adorable jacket that my friend Denise sent Olivia. There is also a sweet denim dress too. Can't wait to see her in these! Thanks again Denise!

Gave this to my dad for Christmas. Toilet paper. Ha ha.

So in just a couple weeks both Thomas and Olivia will be home. I can't think of a better way to kick off the New Year, can you??

Olivia's plane ticket home

2010-12-18T17:13:00.000-05:00

Greetings friends and family!

We have just about enough for Thomas' second trip to the Ukraine to finish paperwork and get Olivia. What's left is the money needed for Olivia's one way ticket home. Yay! Can't believe this journey is just about over, and a new journey starts as soon as she makes it home. There is a CHIP IN button to the right of your screen. It's super easy to use. Advice on helping a 3 year old acclimate to family living would also be GREATLY appreciated. From the 8 hours we were able to spend with her she has a LOT of energy and knows how to test us (haha, oh yeah, she thought it was fun to throw things and run away from us because we couldn't tell her not to in Russian. We did use words our facilitator told us to use, but that little girl would just smirk at us - haha).

Thomas will be taking a backpack filled with crayons, coloring books, color wonder markers and books, musical phone, etc - any thing else you can suggest. She isn't into being held right now either, so waiting for a VERY long time at airports will be a challenge. I was thinking of getting one of those little back packs that have a "leash" attached. We can just picture her bolting at any given chance. She is quick!

Adoption has opened our eyes

2010-12-18T11:05:00.000-05:00

Hello from chilly NH!

Thomas and I finally made it to NH late Thursday night. We spent the night at my parents' house as we were just too exhausted to drive home. Friday we went to our friend's house (that were watching Erik for us) and we hid in their office while Cindy went to pick up Erik at school. She told him that there was an email on the computer for him from us. He ran to the office and stopped dead in his tracks. Needless to say a lot of happy tears were shared. So happy to have him in our arms again!

Flying home felt strange to us. We were glad to be heading home of course, but it felt strange leaving our newly adopted daughter behind. Wow, I can't believe we have a daughter. We are now a family of 4. A dream of ours for a couple years now, finally realized. We lost 3 pregnancies and I thought we'd never be able to provide a sibling for Erik. We never thought about adoption (well, I did for many years when I was a lot younger). Through a family's website I found well over a year ago, Reece's Rainbow and the children listed crept into my heart and eventually Thomas'. Our eyes are now open to the plight of the orphan, all 147 million of them. Our hearts ache for all the children. The children in US Foster care that will be bounced around from home to home, the orphans across the world that are deemed "uneducatable" and left to die in institutions, and the children like Olivia who have TREATABLE illnesses that unless adopted and given appropriate medical treatment will have VERY shortened lives. For those of you reading this blog that have adopted, you know exactly what I am talking about. For those of you who have contemplated adopting, but are afraid to - take that leap of faith, we did. We know our life will be different once Olivia is home - it will not be easy for any of us for a while - but when was parenting easy to begin with? I'm not looking forward to tantrums, but in a way I am (ok, I might regret saying that later, haha). For Olivia to be a NORMAL child (ie. having her own clothes, her own toys, learning that she doesn't need to hoard items anymore, etc) in a FAMILY is truly a blessing. How we can't wait for OUR girl to be home with us!

ONE less orphan in the world today

2010-12-14T10:45:00.000-05:00

We had court this afternoon and thanks to a super chilly court room, the proceedings were VERY quick. It was surreal when the judge read his ruling. We are now parent's to Olivia Cecelie Stern. Yes! Now, we just have to wait a couple weeks and then Thomas can come back and get her!

We'd like to introduce you to our daughter. Olivia Cecelie Stern.

Our family not only gained a daughter, but a sister, cousin, grand daughter and neice! How truly blessed we all are.

No visit today.

2010-12-13T04:24:00.000-05:00

Our driver picked us up and then the Parker family (who are adopting Ilya and Lena) and we were on our way to the baby house. We get there and come to find out, the kids are sick. No visit today. So we had the driver take us to the super market and then back to the apartment. Since the Parkers are busting their kids out of the baby house within the next couple days, pray the kids are better by then. That would not be pleasant for any of them to travel with sick babies who will be nervous on top of everything else.

We hope the kids will feel well enough for visits tomorrow. We have been looking forward to today's visit since we left her on Friday. :)

We are asking everyone that reads this to PLEASE pray we have court tomorrow. Our super awesome facilitator told us last week that we MIGHT have court Tuesday, but she couldn't guarantee this. She will call us later tonight to let us know the verdict. If we have court tomorrow, we can be home before this weekend. We desparately wish Olivia was coming home with us this trip, but that won't be until after the holidays. Even though we are not home sick - we do miss our little boy. Erik and I (kris) love the choir group Libera and I let him borrow one of my Libera CDs while we are gone. The people watching him said that he goes to sleep with the CD because it reminds him of me. Last night was the VERY first time I went on You Tube (internet website) and listened to our favorite songs....very emotional for me.

Things in this country are a bit different than what we are used to back home, but I know I will miss it here. It has grown on me. We do plan on visiting with the kids some day (um, years down the road, after we recover financially from the adoption, lol). We want Olivia to know where she came from, the customs, the holidays, the people. We might not agree with the way the children with special needs (or adults) are treated here, but it's just how it is here. Money plays a huge factor, like it does anywhere else. We are very lucky Olivia is in a decent baby house, so many children in Eastern Europe are not. Reading how things are on blogs is no comparision to actually seeing it with your own eyes, or hearing the sounds (like we heard little babies crying last week while visiting Olivia). I plan on advocatinig for these little ones left behind. I want people to see their faces. I helped a little boy (James on RR) jump down from something and all I could think of was that a mama should be holding his hand. James is nearing the age of transfer. He is a very energetic and fun little boy who needs a mama ASAP. There is a little boy in Olivia's groupa that melts my little heart. Kristopher on RR. He is adorable! Ok, they all are! There are so many little boys here that need families. Please someone go for little Kristopher and James!

Kristopher

James

Saturday

2010-12-11T10:39:00.001-05:00

This is Thomas reporting on my little walk that I took on the way to McDonald's for lunch. The statue below is of Lenin. The square also had the tree you will see below. The tree is actually a metal post with real tree limbs stuck into metal tubes - from a distance it looks like a regular tree. They did a great job of arranging the limbs so it looks natural. The rows of trees in the other photo are widely planted through out the city. The last photo is of the door you go through to get to our apartment (the door on the right). It's a very secure building. You wouldn't believe the locks you need to get through to go into our apartment. We feel very safe here.

It was nice to have McDonald's for lunch today. Familiar food, but cheaper than back home. We plan on visiting the buffet again tomorrow and will try to take pictures of the dishes (without being too obvious - I think we have signs on our backs saying "American"). The buffet is not expensive and the food is very good. Kris wishes she could eat more (but can't because of her surgery). :)

More cute pics

2010-12-11T01:06:00.000-05:00

We had an interesting visit yesterday and couldn't give Olivia her snack (Lena and Ilya didn't get theirs either). I think the adults enjoy feeding the kids their snacks as it's calm and the kids are actually sitting still for something. :) We found crackers that she really likes and was hoping to try the sippy cup with the lid on (she drinks so fast I can only give her a tiny bit of juice at a time), but will have to try that Monday during snack time. I figured out the video option on the camera last night, so look for a video on Monday's post. Not much really to update here today, so I will just post the pics!

This is our view out the apartment window

We watched Myth Busters last night and watched a Jean Claude Van Damm movie. It's interesting hearing it in a different language, but we enjoyed them anyway. :)

No words to describe today's visit. LOL!

2010-12-09T06:43:00.000-05:00

Olivia wasn't too thrilled about being bothered by us too much today. But she did wear Thomas out!

The little bandit

2010-12-09T00:58:00.000-05:00

Olivia's nick name in her baby house is "Little Bandit" and we know why. She sees something she wants, she takes it. She has too much in her hands, she sits on whatever she can't hold. Daycare should be interesting for her and we hope the teachers understand she isn't doing it to be mean. I didn't take too many pictures yesterday because the room is fairly dark and the camera doesn't like it too much!

Now that we have internet I can post longer blog entries! We are sharing the play room with another adopting family. I know their blog is private so I don't know how much info I can post here, but I will just say that these kids have wonderful parents! I promise to take more pictures today of Olivia! Well, that's if she sits still long enough. She is definitely going to be a challenge when we get home - I don't think she has an "off" button. HA!

Met our girl today!

2010-12-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

Very short post tonight, we are in McDonald's. Should have internet in our apartment tomorrow afternoon. :) Besides, you don't want to read my blog, you want to see pictures! Here you go!
Keep in mind she is 3 1/2, she is very tiny! And she is VERY energetic. We are going to have our hands full. :)

Finally, the luggage has arrived!

2010-12-05T05:12:00.000-05:00

Our 2nd piece of luggage (with all our clothes in it) finally arrived this afternoon. It was the same guy that delivered the first piece of luggage yesterday evening. As soon as I saw that it was our bag I said "spaseba! spaseba!" (thank you! thank you!) and said a very enthusiastic "da!" (yes!) - he laughed and said "pahzaloosta!" (your welcome). He was very nice. I really really wish we knew more of the language. Not only would it help us out greatly with finding things, but it's just great being able to talk to someone. We went to the grocery store today - it is HUGE by the way - and it was so very interesting. I love the way they had it set up. 4 isles of liquor (we found a bottle of cognac for 24000,00! That's $3k!), a full isle of chocolates (Erik would love that) and the produce section was great. Lots of fresh veggies and fruits, and the fish section had many dried fish and fresh fish to choose from. We were there looking for a phone card, but left with 2 drinks, cookies for Olivia, gummy bears, and a bag of onion potato chips (almost grabbed the squid flavored chips) - all for $3.40 - but no phone card. We are just about out of minutes and hope the place down the street will be open soon. Here are some observations (some of you are familiar with this I'm sure):

Packs of dogs every where (many stray dogs roam the cities here) - 6 dogs passed us today
Beer vending machines
No brightly colored clothing on the locals here - so our purple and red coats shout "Tourist!"
Lines on the roads are for decoration (if the road is two lanes, it easily can turn into 4 or 5)
Cars can drive on sidewalks, and you can park just about anywhere
Traffic here is NOTHING like back in the states, congested is putting it lightly
When crossing the street, don't walk - cars will not stop for you.

Unfortunately we have been stuck in the apartment all weekend since we had to wait for our luggage to arrive. We were not able to really explore this city. Maybe in a few years (or when we win the lottery, lol) we can come back and take our time to really explore it here. So many interesting things to look and check out (like the huge underground mall). We leave tonight for Olivia's city and will arrive there early Monday morning. I believe soon after we arrive we will be meeting with the orphanage director and then we have a brief meeting with Olivia. Our full visits start the next day. Hopefully our next post will have pictures of our little girl!

First time at the market today

2010-12-03T06:23:00.000-05:00

We ventured across the street this morning to get some food at the market. On the way there we went by some vendors selling their wares (in tiny little kiosk booth things - you don't go in, you just point at what you want). Once in the market we looked for the basics. Most of the things were easy to figure out. One thing was wrapped in foil so we couldn't guess at the contents. I assumed it was butter. It is, but chocolate flavored! We will try that on some bread later - no going to use it to cook eggs! lol. Below are the pictures of the things we picked up. I just made ham and cheese sandwiches and had some yummy milk. I'm glad I looked through our Russian language books before coming here - but REALLY wished we knew more, especially full sentences. :)

Tea

Cheese

Yogurt

Milk

Ham and Cheese sandwich

And the mystery package. Chocolate butter!

Snow storm and the SDA appointment

2010-12-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

Greeting from "across the pond"

We flew into Munich, Germany on Wednesday morning - hoping to leave for Olivia's country a few hours later. Well, a snow storm moved in before we had a chance to leave. Blizzard was more like it. We did board the plane on time, but had to sit in the plane on the tarmack for 3 hours (we were de-iced twice) and then they canceled the flight. Actually ALL flights coming into or leaving Munich were canceled. So you can guess how long the lines were to get new tickets issued! 2 hours later, new tickets in hand, we board the new plane. Oh wait, before we did that, they had to bus us across the airport to a new plane for some reason. Finally settled into our new plane, we sit some more. After an hour they feed us snacks. After 2 hours here comes dinner. After 3 hours of waiting, we finally take off - everyone cheered! The flight was only 2 hours long and only drinks are served - but because of the ordeal we went through - we got dinner and snack (before we left on the plane) and then at 1am we were fed another snack, and then breakfast. We were allll so glad to finally get to the city! So we all got off the plane and waited for the luggage - and waited - and waited. They forgot to put all our luggage in the plane! So all 50 of us had to fill out lost luggage forms. That took 2 hours. It was now 5 am and we were sure our driver had left long ago. Nope - there he was! Waiting there since 4pm (when our original plane was to get here), he did leave once or twice really quickly while waiting. I hugged the poor guy and could tell he was as exhausted as we were. He took us to McDonald's for breakfast (and so he could nap in his car) - he helped us order first. One thing we realized while here already is that there are NO lines for anything - you just kind of squeeze in and get what you want. Same with driving! It's crazy! BUT, it works for them. We are just glad to be here...but do wish our luggage would be found soon!

SDA appointment. We have been told by other families that it is quick - wow are they right! Someone here told us it's because we are adopting a "known" child - I guess the guy we were talking to in the pizza shop across from SDA building is local and has been through a LONG process before. We saw Olivia's baby pic. Hopefully we get it before we leave. We learned her mom died 2 years ago, no dad, 2 older brothers. Sad that they will never know her, and she will never know them. Her medical info wasn't shocking. We know about the HIV, and was told she has skin issues. We find out more when we visit the orphanage doctor next week.

3 days without sleep caught up to us (plus the 7 hour time change) - it's 6 am Friday morning. We plan on making the journey across the street to the market. Since our luggage isn't here, we have no food (well, except for some granola bars). Hehe - let's see if we get what we think we are getting. Here are some pics of the apartment. I have seen this place on many blogs - so we know some of you know exactly where we are! :)

Leaving on Tuesday!

2010-11-27T14:57:00.000-05:00

Greetings Olivia cheerleaders! We are currently packing our two duffle bags and double checking to make sure we have every thing we need. If we forgot anything I'm sure we can find it where we are going. I decided to NOT make this blog private while we are gone, but that means keeping Olivia's country out of the blog. So I will just reference the country as EE or Eastern Europe.

Now we have to sit down and crunch numbers. We are trying to decide if Thomas staying through the 10 day wait would be cheaper than paying for his ticket home. We bought (2) one way tickets for the trip out to EE, then will have to purchase two more to come home. Then he will fly back out in January to finish up the paperwork and bust little Olivia out of the baby house and come home. We are still short on the money needed for the 2nd trip so we really have to figure out what is best financially. For those of you who have either stayed the 10 day wait or come home for the waiting period - what did you do and did it work out in your favor? Please email me: nikitaswlfspirit@gmail.com

Stuck

2010-11-21T18:05:00.000-05:00

Lol. Ok, not a good title for this post, but I didn't have any other ideas at the time. We are really struggling to raise the last of the money right now. We have $1500 left to raise. This will be used for the 2nd trip (Thomas goes back to Olivia's country and wraps things up and brings her home). Something else is worrying me. Not only is that "dark bill" being voted on (possibly) next month, but we also have to deal with finding a return flight from this upcoming trip. We HOPEFULLY will be traveling home before Christmas - but I hear that getting tickets home might be difficult and rather expensive. Let's hope that the flight home won't be more than what we can handle. We have raised enough for exactly what was listed in our handbook (other RR families know what I am talking about) - we don't have anything available for "unexpected" surprises. Please pray that things go as smoothly as things can go in her country for us (and the other families).

So we are still working on that last $1500 and hope that's all we have to raise! If you can spread word on your blog or facebook about Olivia and our mission (that is slightly underfunded) to bring her home that would be wonderful. We leave in 9 days....how exciting!

11 more days!

2010-11-19T18:12:00.000-05:00

11 more days and we land in Olivia's country. I'm feeling many different emotions right now. There is that vote possibly next week (or whenever it is, so many conflicting reports) that might halt adoptions in Olivia's country. So I'm nervous about that (but not freaked out, that won't help matters!). We are still short almost $1500 (for the 2nd trip). So I'm nervous about that too. I had raffle envy today. There was a 50/50 raffle at work and within 5 hours almost $1000 was raised. 50% went to the Santa Fund, 50% went to a co-worker. 5 hours and that money was raised. Awesome for the Santa Fund, but left me a tad envious (ok, jealous was more like it). The money jar at Erik's school and at my work are still empty. They have been there for a long time. I love living where we do, but it definitely has it's down falls (ie. small itty bitty town and not knowing people really affects things). We don't know anyone out side of work. So help with raffles, fundraisers, dinners, etc isn't available and I sure can't lead anything, lol. I'm not a very outspoken person.

I am actually looking forward to that long flight coming up on the 30th. I will get to sit and think AHEAD. I cried on the way to work this morning because our back up cat sitter backed out, and the cat sitter wants to take 2 vacations while we are gone. Thankfully another co-worker volunteered to watch our two spoiled cats. And one of the cats needs antibiotics yet again for a UTI - figures. I think he planned this. lol. So that's probably $50 for the meds. Darn cat. lol. And worry about the finances while we are gone because there won't be any. I think many families can relate to that one.

Now the happy emotions. Yup, I have those too! The first week of December we get to finally met our girl. I'm nervous about her reaction to us. I will be blogging as much as I can, so I will let you know how that goes. :) We can't wait to meet her. Oh heck, I can't wait to get my arms around her! And seriously, that haircut of hers has to be fixed. :) I truly think moms that are adopting get these weird hormones surges like pregnant ladies. Your up, your down, you get excited, you get depressed.

More serious news. There are so many kiddos right now on the RR website needing families. After our adoption is complete and the princess has arrived at her castle, I plan on advocating more for these kids. Maybe doing a mission trip at some point. Just look at all these beautiful faces.

Visit Reece's Rainbow to find out more: www.http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/hiv

and visit here to learn more about HIV: http://www.projecthopeful.org/

Traveling on November 30th!

2010-11-11T11:44:00.000-05:00

We will be meeting Olivia in less than a month! We can't wait to see her in person, and I hope she will let us hold her (I will settle for a little hug though). So much to do before we leave. I'm glad to finally be in the last trimester of this "pregnancy" - now the nesting behavior kicks in. :)

I hope you will follow us here on our blog as we travel to Olivia's country and get to know the little princess. :) Will be posting pictures of course. :)

Help save an angel with HIV

2010-10-08T20:43:00.004-04:00

This sweet little 3 year old is Olivia. She currently lives in an Eastern Europe orphanage for children who are diagnosed with HIV. Olivia does not have a future in her native country due to her orphan status and her diagnosis. At the age of 4 she will be sent off to a "boarding school." When she ages out at the age of 16, she will be kicked out and left to fend for herself on the streets, some end up sleeping in the sewers. She will be jobless and homeless. No family to take care of her and no means to pay for the very expensive medications that will keep her alive and healthy. We are very blessed in our country to have wonderful medical care and medications. HIV is not a death sentence. It can easily be managed here in the US. Olivia can live to a ripe old age and have grand children some day. There is no risk to other children around her at school, sports, or at home. She can share a cupcake with her brother and he can kiss her when she is feeling sad. Please look at her picture, can you see her on the streets? I can't. Or can you picture her in a loving family with critters to chase and acres of woods to explore? She will enrich the lives of those around her and she will help us squash the stigma that HIV still carries to this day.

Our family decided to adopt after we suffered our last pregnancy loss. We were drawn to the children on Reece's Rainbow (www.Reecesrainbow.com), and in particular, the children with HIV. We have a 6 year old at home and the three of us agreed that we would love to have a little girl. We fell in love with little Olivia and committed to adopt her. We have $7k left to raise friends, and we need to ask for help. Feel free to post our blog link anywhere, or copy and paste our CHIP IN button and put it on your blog. You can even make a tax deductible donation thru Reece's Rainbow (www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorstern.htm). Let's bring this angel home!

If 200 people donated $35 each, we will have reached our goal. Please help spread the word. If you can donate at least $20 to our Chip In (top right), I will send you a key chain. If you can donate $35 or more we will send you a tote bag (see picture below, key chain has the same wording as the tote bag). Just make sure you send me an email with your mailing address. My email address is nikitaswlfspirit@gmail.com

Thank you for helping to save an angel with HIV.

Slowly the mountain crumbles, and new fundraiser!

2010-10-02T15:19:00.001-04:00

Hello Olivia cheerleaders,

We are slowly chipping away at the $8000 we have left to raise for the 2nd trip (we have enough for the first trip). Look at the Chip In button to the right - slowly we are getting there. We plan on submitting our dossier this week so we really need this Chip In button to reach it's goal. I have 250 friends on facebook, and if they could all donate $36 we'd be at our goal. Maybe this blog can reach just as many people? It will only happen if you help spread the word. :)

If you can donate at least $15 to our Chip In, I will send you a key chain. If you can donate more than $25 I will send you a small tote bag with the same wording as the key chain. Just make sure you send me an email with your mailing address. My email address is nikitaswlfspirit@gmail.com

We can't do this with out your help. I don't feel comfortable sending off our dossier without knowing that we have the $8000 needed for the second trip. I'd hate to go over there for the first trip, and not have enough to travel for the final trip. I'm hoping that our online community of friends can help us make this happen. Feel free to share this post with as many people as you'd like.

I'm writing our last letter to family, updating them on the exciting progress and the need for the $8000. Most of our family doesn't support the adoption, but I can only hope their hearts will change. I can't believe we are so close to Olivia - but have that last bit left to raise. So close though!

This mountain needs to crumble

2010-09-29T17:06:00.000-04:00

Well we should have our dossier in the mail VERY soon. Just need to get everything apostled and looked over again before mailing it. Then we get in line so to speak. It's starting to get very exciting now! :) I do have a request from all of you reading our little blog. Can you please pass around the link to the blog, anywhere you'd like to. We need to get word out about Olivia and the adoption. We have $8000 left to raise and have to do this very quickly! I was told by a co-worker and a relative that we will NOT be able to pull this off. I say let's prove them wrong. Help us bring little Olivia home. If you can't afford to donate that's ok, spreading the word helps too.

1/2 way to the Princess

2010-09-25T21:57:00.000-04:00

Dossier almost complete. We just need the I-171H form and have to get all these documents apostled. So as far as the paperwork goes, we are almost there! yay! We still need to raise close to $10k, and fast. The deadline is approaching for dossier submissions. If you can help us raise the money in some way...we'd appreciate the help. If you know someone that would be willing to do a personal loan with us, that would be wonderful. Let's move this mountain, our girl is waiting for us! Spread the word, the Stern's need to move that financial mountain!

We did something exciting. Some people might think we are jumping the gun a bit so to speak, but we bought Olivia's first outfits today (clearance for $6 a piece!). Who would of thought shopping for little outfits for a girl would be so exciting? I can't wait to dress her up in her OWN clothes. No more sharing, no more groupa numbers written on the clothes.

We also priced the little princess toddler bed that I can picture her in, $69 isn't too bad for it.

Hmmm, all this royalty stuff might go to her head. But that's ok with us, she deserves it.

Prayers needed...

2010-09-17T12:33:00.000-04:00

As the deadline to submit our dossier approaches, we are still left with a major hurdle. We have $10-12k left to raise. No loans, no grants. Family isn't willing or able to help us with a personal loan. Our dossier is almost completed, but we can't submit until we have the funds secured.

It's not a good feeling, being jealous of others - but when I look at the families that have 4, 5, or even more children...I get jealous. We have one. A 6 year old little boy who is lonely and wants a sibling.

Our mountain keeps getting bigger and I don't know how to climb over it.

Church and Market Day

2010-09-12T20:26:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day the three of us attended a church. I teetered for many years between Scientific Pantheist and Atheism. I didn't fully believe in either one though, rather I believed a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Picture a peg board with circular holes, and I am the square peg - I belong in the peg board because I'm a peg, but there isn't a hole that I fit into. LOL - ok, not the best visual, but you can probably understand what I am saying. I also believe that just about every religion out there should be treated with respect. Until a month or so ago, I didn't realize that there is a wonderful community out there that embraces all faiths. I'm proud to say that we are Unitarian Universalists. Thomas was brought up celebrating Jewish holidays (his dad's side of the family) and his mom was Lutheran. My mom was brought up Baptist and taught Sunday school (way before she had me 34 years ago - hehe), and dad is Protestant. It wasn't until we started the adoption journey when I realized how important it is to belong somewhere. With minimal support from family and having no friends in the state we live in - we felt alone. I did a web search of all religions on Google and came across Unitarian Universalism - ahah! - why didn't I see this before? I also did a web search for local UU churches - and found one 15 minutes away. I knew just from the email conversations I had with a few members (including the new minister) that this would be a very welcoming community. Within minutes of being in the congregation today we felt welcomed. So much POSITIVE energy in there. We guess there was probably 25-30 people in attendance (which filled all the pews). Afterwards was an indoor picnic. Everyone is so friendly and so happy about our adoption. Our minister is a wonderful man who has a heart of gold (he also did a lot of work with HIV/AIDS groups in Texas). They talked to us about Erik and the Sunday school program, and explained that the church does special activities for the different holidays within different religions. We will celebrate Chanukah and Christmas for example. Erik will have a part in the services as well - whether it's helping to light the chalice or doing little skits with the other kids. The church also serves meals at the Salvation Army once a month (I believe it was) - and the kids make the desserts (and have the option of being there at the meal serving the desserts they made). So happy to be around POSITIVE people when we have received so much negativity regarding the adoption. Sorry this was long, but some people might not know what a UU is or what we do in church. :) Any questions please ask!

Market Day! We went to the Multicultural market day yesterday. Forgot it was yesterday, so we missed 1/2 the day. But we did get to enjoy the wonderful African drummers and dancers. I have always loved this kind of music, it really touches your soul. Little ones dressed in traditional garb danced to the drums, it was adorable (I think the youngest was 3!). We then came across a Kenyan artist selling his wares. He apologized for his broken English, but I told him that he was doing a wonderful job and his work was very beautiful. I ended up buying a necklace from him. I only had $15 (his quoted me $30 for the necklace), but when I offered the $15 he told me to choose anything I wanted. I can't wear the necklace since the pendant is so large - but it's beautiful and I will find a different way to display it. We missed a lot of the food booths since we showed up late, which was a little disappointing since Thomas wanted some Phillipino egg rolls and I wanted to try some Jamaican food - our noses picked up the scent of something super yummy as we were leaving. Kenyan rice pilaf w/chicken and veggies. Got a plate of it for Erik and Thomas to share, lol, Erik wouldn't share his (he LOVED it), so Thomas had to buy his own. lol. It was a great day and we all agreed that we will remember Market Day next year and get there early!

We want Erik to grow up embracing not only all faiths, but embracing the many cultures we have. I am also teaching him that we care for people even if we don't know them personally. He looks forward to our annual bike ride to raise money for the cancer center here in NH. He also recognizes the children's faces on Reece's Rainbow when I visit there often, checking on all the kids. He went from asking why they looked different, to why they don't have mommies and daddies yet because they need love too. I am also taking him to the Buddy Walk this year. He has never met anyone with Down Syndrome before (neither has the hubby) and are they in for a treat - I forsee many friends being made that day. I'm hoping that he grows up a very well rounded and open minded person - so far so good. :)

Dossier almost complete

2010-09-11T22:05:00.001-04:00

We are just 2 documents away from completing our dossier. One of them is the 171H. This is the document that will allow us to bring Olivia into the USA. I was notified last week that my finger prints are considered "unclassified" by the FBI. For those of you who know me well, Xfiles was a favorite show of mine back in the day. My doctor calls me his medical Xfile (he thinks I should be put in a glass display case in a museum). And now the FBI calls me "unclassified" - pretty interesting. My finger tips are really smooth and the ridges for my prints are very very faint - so the scan they did a few weeks ago didn't work. So now I have to go again. My appointment is on Wednesday, but I will chance it and show up Monday morning to see if they will take me. Keep your fingers crossed that they take me Monday and they are able to capture readable prints.

I also got the ever elusive (and much dreaded) pink slip from USCIS. A pink slip means they are requiring more information (which means more time goes by without that darn 171H!). Hopefully our homestudy agency fixes the problem and sends us what we need - then I will overnight the new documents to USCIS. I was told that at least this means our application is being reviewed right now.

After the dossier is complete we submit - right? Nope...we still have $12k left to raise. This is really killing me. People keep saying that it will happen - but you do get to a point where you honestly wonder where $12k will come from (and I know that sadly we are not the only family with is problem). No one is willing to loan us the remaining funds, out of 70+ letters I have mailed to businesses, friends, family and even Oprah and Ellen - only one person got back to us. Figures we are trying to do this in a horrible economy. So we keep looking for a part time job and try to figure out how to come up with $12k that is needed before we can submit our dossier to Olivia's country.

Because we feel "stranded" here in central NH, I started looking for a church community to join. I never realized how important "belonging" somewhere was... until we started this adoption journey. Most of our family does not support this adoption and we have absolutely no friends in the same state as us (went to college in Maine and CT - we didn't grow up here in NH). I found a wonderful church we are going to for the first time tomorrow. It's a Unitarian Universalist church, and the new minister just transferred from Texas. He was very involved with the HIV and AIDS groups down there and really was very happy that we are adopting Olivia. We hope to meet people and maybe have somewhat of a social life (gasp!)

I am very very happy for so many of my Reece's Rainbow family members - many of them have been submitted to the SDA in their child's country. Oh how I just love looking at their blogs with pictures of their new little ones. I soooo hope to be in their position soon.